Lean On Me

Ch. 3 Beat Me

The next day

Ems POV

Carina and maya are still all different kinds of pissed, but I'm trying. I'm trying to be the trophy child they want. I've been having issues sleeping and I don't want to get into their bed because they might get upset, so I've just been staying up from around 2 am to 9 am. I'll finally fall asleep and wake up from a terrible dream about Rayson. His 5 year anniversary is in October. It's august, which is probably why I'm struggling so much.

"Wake up- oh you're awake. Okay. Well even if you're suspended you'll be waking up at 6 with Carina and I and you'll clean the house while we're out." Maya says straightening her tie and then walking away.

Wonder when we'll have an actual conversation again?

I get out of bed and I go sit in the living room while I watch my parents get ready. Carina shuffles out the door murmuring an I love you and now it's just maya and I.

I sit on the couch in silence as Maya eats her breakfast and I feel almost anxious.

It's like she doesn't love me anymore. It's like neither of them love me anymore.

I feel a few tears leave my eyes and I quickly wipe them away, not wanting to appear weak.

I've messed up before, but I've never received this. I'd much rather be beaten then be ignored. Maybe that's what I need. Maybe that's what they need to do. Maybe if they beat me, they'll love me again.

I stand up off the couch before walking over to maya.

How do I get her to hit me?

I stop in front of her and she looks up at me expectantly. "Uhhh, em?"

I feel my heart rate pick up rapidly and I begin to shake.

"Em?? What's wro-"

I cut her off mid sentence with a slap to the face.

Immediately it's like a switch flipped in her that I've never seen before and she is on her feet in an instant in my face screaming.

"WHAT THE FUCK?? EMBERLEY WE DO NOT FUCKING HIT PEOPLE! YOU ARE 16 YEARS OLD GROW THE FUCK UP!!" She yells inches from my face and I push her.

Beat me.

"Stop this now!!" She shouts angrily and I begin to cry. I push her again a little harder this time.

"Emberley I do not want to have to do this." She warns after stumbling back into the dining table.

I shove her quite a bit harder and she falls to the floor and I get on top of her and I start to shake her by her shoulders.

Beat me.

"EMBERLEY!!" She yells flipping us over and restraining me. I'm sobbing by this time, almost beginning to hyperventilate.

I struggle against her and she grabs me harder.

"STOP THIS NOW!!" She shouts once more and I start audibly sobbing.

"Just beat me!! Just get it out!! I can't do this anymore!! I can't take this anymore!! Anything would be better than this!!!" I scream falling limp under maya and sobbing uncontrollably.

Her face goes from anger to sadness all at once and I lean my head to the side in exhaustion. "Please. P-please mom. Just beat me." I beg with brokenness in my voice.

"Honey.. I would never. I could never." She whispers turning my face to look at hers.

"I-I just want you guys back." I sob out quietly, almost as if I'm scared I'll spook the nice maya and it'll bring the cold one back.

"We're here sweetie. We're here. What's going on??"

I shake my head thinking about how ridiculous I am for being so dramatic.

"No. Don't do that. Get it out." She coaxes and I hiccup a little for air before speaking.

"I-I fuck-fucked up and I know I did. I didn't m-mean to piss you guys off so much bu-but I thought if you guys hit me you'd talk to me again. I-I know y-you guys were talking to me but it wasn't you. It w-was anger. It was sh-short. I-I don't want you guys to hate me anymore." I explained all in one breath, nervous she'd get bored halfway through my rambling.

"Breathe. In and out. We do NOT hate you. We could never hate you! We love you more than we love anything else in this world and we would be so lost without you."

I feel myself take a deep breath I didn't even know I needed. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I wrap my arms around Maya frantically before crying into her shoulder. "P-please don't do that again. A-anything is better than that." I whisper shaking profusely.

"We won't do that again honey. We didn't realize how much it was hurting you." She whispers hugging me back tightly.

What a shitshow.

QOTD
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