If Only I'd Met You Earlier♡ •Ot7•

20. Shame

I couldn't speak a word. I just sat there, looking at those bleeding knuckles of Jungkook. I couldn't even bring myself to swallow down the thick lump that was forming deep inside my throat.

Jungkook jerked his body back to a sitting position and cupped my face,"W- watch the movie. Don't S-stop because of me." His breath was reeking of alcohol.

"S-stop it, Jungkook." I spoke in the most stern way possible, yet without being able to stop myself from lifting my hands to place them over his which were on my cheeks.

"I have. I have stopped now. Go with- N-namjoon." He pulled one hand away from my face, causing my hand to drop down into my lap as he pointed at Namjoon who stood there without moving, "Go with him, I'll manage myself on my own. I hope you two have the best life ever...." On and on he continued speaking.

I couldn't bring myself to glance up at Namjoon's face. I wasn't prepared for what I would answer his questions with. Jungkook was speaking too much, without even pausing for a second.

Namjoon's feet began to move in my peripheral while I dared not to look up, my vision was becoming blurry because of tear with every passing minute. Namjoon sat himself next to Jungkook who was beginning to pull his other hand away from my cheek as well. Mine slipped down to rest on my knees while my face dropped down with who knows what emotion. Shame? Embarrassment? Fear? Confusion? Or all of them?

"H-hyung- I'm- soo happy for you- Areum is a very nice girl. She will keep you happy, Namjoon." He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his brother's waist who was not very shocked at his drunk child like behaviour but did not budge an inch from his position, "But hyung, please- please just keep her h-happy."

I looked up at them in that moment, a jittery high taking over my whole body. Jungkook still cared as much as I did.

"Joon... I can't see her sad... or gloomy like she...has been recently." He continued, speaking very slowly as he comforted himself into the arms Namjoon had offered him in return now, "I want her..........to be happy. But- but I can't...do that....myself. I wish I could..."

And he drifted off unconscious mid sentence. The motionless silent tention in the room could be cut with a knife. I sat there in the same position with my head held low. Namjoon didn't speak a word. It made me curious enough to gather courage and throw a glance in his direction.

He was sitting still, holding Jungkook in his arms. Namjoon's eyes were fixed on his tensed-yet-calm face as he caressed Jungkook's creased forehead. I wondered what he must have been thinking- about Jungkook? About me? About us? About him and me?

After he was sure that Jungkook had drifted off to deep sleep, he gently laid him on the couch and stood up to start collecting his belongings.

"Namj-" I was shut by his small hand gesture to stop.

"Take care of him.... give him something to help his hangover later." He sighed, before very slowly walking out of the door leaving me there still sitting on the floor infront of Jungkook.

My mind was a mess. A million thoughts were blaring through my head per second, but I couldn't concentrate on even one. My brain was putting me in a constant partial blackout which made me feel dizzy. I could hear Namjoon's car on the street in the pouring rain that had started falling just after Jungkook had made his entry. I reached out for the first aid kit which was below the table, didn't really know how much it would help his bleeding knuckles but that was the least I could do without Hoseok's healing touch.

The wound looked fresh, it had scratches and splinters all around it like he was punching trees. I applied a cooling antiseptic cream after cleaning the wound and then wrapped a crape bandage around it. I couldn't let go of his hands once I was touching them. I couldn't still ignore the fact that they precisely fit into mine like naturally carved for it. And that's when I started crying.