If Only I'd Met You Earlier♡ •Ot7•

21. Crossway

Hoseok let the two of us walk in first so as to secure a good seat to watch the drama from near the door. Neither of us had spilt any information about what had happened, so he was more than curious to know. The house was empty, except for the lower bunk which Namjoon occupied, with an arm folded over his forehead and a frown, his legs crossed one on top of the other. His breathing was even, so I guessed he was asleep.

Hoseok's face displayed a bit of disappointment on the lack of entertainment which he was highly anticipating on our way. He moved without any noise, picking his professional bag and doctor's coat. He only waited to for a second to whisper humorously, "Don't try to hit him- or anyone for that matter, you've become too strong because of the training, thanks to Jungkook himself."

I smiled weakly and then nodded before he turned to leave. Once he was gone, I sat down on one of the already pulled out chairs with a sigh. What would happened when Namjoon would wake up? What would he be saying to us? What would we be returning his words with? Would I become the reason for a ridge between the two brothers?- Jungkook was standing still until he took long strides towards the door, interrupting the questions that rummaged their way into my messed up mind-

"Where do you think are you going?" I questioned bluntly. He didn't answer and instead kept advancing towards the nob, I was quick enough to grab him before he could leave. Of course, he flicked my hand away. Again.

"How does it matter to you?" He turned around and folded his arms over his chest, "I go where ever, do what ever, with who ever. Why do you give a damn?"

"Are you actually a nut or are you just pretending to be??? I'm not a toy with whom you come and play as and when you like and leave when you feel right! It was you who didn't stop at the correct time even after knowing everything! It was you who took unthought decisions!-"

"Yeah, right and if I'm soo much the reason of this whole problem, I'm leaving right? So why would you not let me? The reason will be gone, the problem will be solved." He threw a solid shrug before squaring his shoulders again, eyes opaque.

"If that was soo, YOU FUCKING SHOULDN'T HAVE SHOWN UP DRUNK AT MY DOORSTEP LAST NIGHT! You shouldn't have created the scene in front of Namjoon! Every damn thing was going soo good before you intervened! I was handling the pain of staying away from you on my own and bearing your inconsiderate behaviour, alongside keeping myself happy with Namjoon! He didn't have to know this- not right now! I would have confessed to him at the right time or pretended it never happened just like you do, for that matter! While all you did was keep your distance and run from it like a fucking coward!"

His eyes didn't speak much, but the furrow between his brows told me he knew I was right, before he presented his bullshit rebuttal, "You had to let him sooner or later. So, good it happened yesterday and very clearly you know I was drunk, I didn't have a hold on myself-"

"So??? So what?? You think I'll let you leave me here alone to clear your mess? REMEMBER, I AM NOT THE CAUSE OF THIS! Atleast not the ONLY cause. And!- I will not let myself get even a tiny bit of blame for the distance that your acts will creat between your brother and you! Stop running away from your own doings everytime!" I stopped speaking before my whole body could become numb. Jungkook was taken aback at my outburst as well, his eyes were no more opaque- they were clear, readable. So was his face, he knew I was not the one at fault. I had been struggling enough the whole time, bearing his ignorance, trying to keep Namjoon happy with whatever I could offer in return to his warm feelings which I obviously didn't think I deserved, alongside maintain a calm apperance so others don't get worried while my own brain was haphazard.

"I didn't want this to happen either." He spoke as his head slowly turned down and his arms unfolded to adjust to his sides. His bruised fingers were clearly twitching as if he was trying to hold back some actions, "I don't like behaving like this to you, Areum. It hurts me as it hurts you, probably even more. Seeing you around Namjoon is not easy for me, I can't stop picturing myself in his place. I can't stop thinking about each and every second I have spent with you and compare them to every second that I have to spend away from you, I miss you THAT much. I have to keep myself away from home to avoid doing something I am not supposed to. Last night I was out of my mind, I had heard Seokjin talking to Yoongi about your movie date with Namjoon- I was jelous, Areum. More jelous than you could possibly think of. I'm suffering too. I went to a club, thinking I could forget all of it atleast for a while if I actually got drunk. But look- look what happened, even the alcohol pulled me back to you-" he looked up with his eyes frozen at something behind me. His face had started draining out of colour.