The Perfect Sin

75

𝗟 𝗨 𝗟 𝗔

After numerous meetings with Doctor Farrington and appointments with other specialists, we ran some more tests and discovered that I had a healthy amount of eggs. With this discovery, and a lengthy discussion with Renzo, I decided to go ahead with the process of freezing them.

It was something I had spent a long time thinking about, going over the pros and cons more than enough times. Probably too much, actually. 

Right now, I'm not ready for children and neither is Renzo, but to have the clarification that no matter what, I'll still have healthy eggs to use when the time is right, puts my mind at ease. Especially if something further happens with my condition and it causes serious issues with my fertility.

The doctors said it's very unlikely to happen but I want to take precautions, just in case. At least this way I'll feel a little better knowing I'll still be able to have children in the future, even if I might not necessarily be able to carry them myself.

I still don't think I've fully come to terms with my diagnosis. It's difficult to comprehend. A young woman of my age — twenty-two, — being told that the likelihood of me having a healthy pregnancy is slim.

It's difficult.

Renzo has been incredibly supportive but I know he must feel sad about this too, even though he doesn't tend to show it. He tries to be supportive and show no emotion, which is just Renzo in a nutshell. I wish that he would open up to me a little more though. 

He doesn't always have to be so strong. Especially not with me. Even though he's come such a long way since we got to know each other better, he still has a way to go yet.

We'll get there, with time. All we have now is time and I can't wait to continuing spending mine with him.

Life lately has been a bit of a whirlwind to say the least, but I wouldn't want to experience it with anyone else. The people we have around us are so supportive and I feel like this really is becoming my family now.

Sofia has been amazing. We had the best day out at the theatre and it was so nice to be able to spend some quality time with her. The two of us haven't exactly had it easy over the last few weeks, so just being able to go out and have fun was definitely needed.

I hope that with time, Renzo becomes more lenient with Sofia and allows her the freedom she deserves to be given. She's twenty years old now, and is an adult.. he can't continue treating her like this.

Although it's clear to see that he's at least trying. He didn't have to let us go out the other day to such a public place, but he chose to. That's progress as far as I'm concerned.

As each day passes, I'm hopeful that his progress will continue to grow and he'll get to a point where he's comfortable allowing Sofia to come and go as she pleases. I understand that he's even more concerned about her safety right now with the whole Skender situation, but once he has him, he should feel more at ease.

Leandro has completely surprised me. I never expected him to even so much as look in my direction and not be disgusted, but now we're actually talking to each other. It's nice.

He can still come across cold and conceited, and I don't always know how to take him, especially if he's in a bad mood.. but we're continuing to make progress every day.