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《《Ricardo's POV 》》

Wow she's  actually  really good at cards. I usually  never loose. I don't think I  was paying  attention to the game though.

My eyes were glued on her, busy noticing the little  things that she does. Like when she scrunches up her nose when she concentrates on which card to play next.

And the way she rakes her hair to one side so that it's out of her face. Or when  she see's  me staring at her and she blushes.

I  think I'm  falling for her. I am falling for her. But is she falling for me? It's something I'm  so desperate to know.

I know she's  innocent and doesn't  know  much about all the touchy parts in a relationship but I'll  be patient.

I'll  wait for her.

Even though I see that I  have somewhat of  an effect on her I  can't stop the voice at the back of my head that keeps telling me that maybe just maybe she likes Alessandro.

I sigh in the shower while she was asleep on my bed. Alessandro knows that I  really like her despite his assumptions he knows  deep down that I  really care about her.

I haven't  felt this way about a girl in a very long time. I never  thought I'd  feel this way for anyone  again.

After what Fiona did to me I  could never love again. It's  a long story, one only Alessandro, Christina and I  will ever know.

After my heartbreak I started sleeping around like Alessandro  but I went out of control.  The difference between me and Alessandro  sleeping  around is that he does it because he can never love, I  do it because I  loved and it hurt  me.

I got into grey sweat pants and walked over to my bed. She lay there peacefully and her hushed snores making  the corner of my lips twitch.

I lay beside her and looked up at the loose strands of hair on her face. Should I tuck them away.

Why does a simple touch like tucking her hair away make me so shy. I look at her and I  just want to hold her.

《《》》

I feel delicate hands rub my bare back tracing something I don't want to be traced. My tattoo. I  instantly tense.

I  grab the hand and shoot up my jaw clenched. I saw Martina's confused face and I  released her hand giving her an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry" I  mutter. "Was I not supposed to do that" she said playing with her hands nervously.

"No don't worry about it, I  just-" I  sighed not really wanting to  open up "-the tattoo on my back just brings back memories I don't want to re-live" I  open up.

"If you don't mind me asking. What memories are those?" She asked so innocently and just one look at her face and I  give in.

The story behind my tattoo was one I  hoped she wouldn't  find out about. I  hoped she'd  just assume  it's some cool tattoo I  decided to  get but I  just had to give it away.

"Uhm  it's  a  tattoo I  got a while ago. It represents  someone  I  really truly loved, you can see our initials at the centre of the wings." I smiled at the thought of what used to be.

"That tattoo was my pride and joy, it reminded me of her every day when I  couldn't  be with her I  knew I  had this tattoo but..." I started but my chest began  clenching.

"But she broke my heart and I couldn't stand and look at myself in the  mirror  knowing that I  have a part of her on my back permanently. It haunts me every day."

I sighed. I  hate the tattoo on my back, I  can't even stand to look in the mirror anymore.  "I'm  sorry" I whisper getting  up and walking out of the room.

I felt as if she wasn't  happy about the tattoo, or maybe it's just my mind playing games with me like when I  thought  she'd like Alessandro.

"Ricardo what are you sorry for?" Her voice said making  me hesitantly  close the  door. Why so insecure? I  mean I've  had this tattoo for so long and only now it affects me.

Maybe it was a bad idea telling her. "Ricardo wait." She says and I only stop but my back is still facing her.

I here her small footsteps approach behind me and she stops placing her finger tips on the enormous wings tattooed on my back.

"Martina" I  grumbled.

"Ricardo listen I won't ever do that. Not to you." She says and I relaxed.

"Promise me you won't" I  said in a pleading tone. "I promise Ricardo" she said wrapping her arms around my neck.

I hope she doesn't.

Flashback

"I love you with all of my heart Fiona, I'll  be back, I  promise" I  whispered into her ear as I  left her there.

I was going on a buisness trip with Alessandro  for a whole month. It broke me to leave her but I  knew that I'd  give her the suprise of her life when I  came  back.

A week before I  left I  got a tattoo on my back and I  loved it. It was angel wings with her and my initials in the centre.

She was my angel.

I loved that tattoo it was the perfect representation of  her. An angel. I'd  have her with me on the month long buisness trip.

Every time I  missed her dearly I  looked at the tattoo it was just  perfect. After a week or two into the buisness trip I  went to buy her a ring.

I  spent a whole lot of money for it but I didn't care I could spend all I  have for her. The perfect ring for the perfect lady.

I was flying back from the buisness  trip and I  kept rambling  on  about the love of my life to Alessandro  who honestly  couldn't  give two shits.

"Listen here Ricardo there's no such thing as love and soon enough you'll  realize it. I'd  be  damned if I ever fall in love god forbid but I'm a man of my word and I  will never  fall in love, love is a joke" he said sipping at his whiskey.

"Speak for yourself I'm  in love and there is such thing as love" I  huff and sip my whiskey as he rolls his eyes as well.

We finally  landed and before I  knew it I was at our apartment  opening the door with  the ring box in my back pocket.

I opened the door to  her room feeling  like the happiest man alive to be proposing to her.  She lay there on her side  in our bed and someone else in my side.

Who the fuck is that.

"Ricardo??" She said covering her chest with the bed sheets. "I swear it's not what you think" she says out of breath.

I stormed towards them and the man in bed with her was one of the guards that I  hired to keep her  safe while I  was gone.

"Boss?" He says but I see red. I  take out my gun and pull the trigger the blood from the shot splattering  on her and our bed sheets.

I stood there feeling  like the whole world's weight  was in my shoulders. "Ricardo I love you" she says.

My eyes begin to sting and I  feel the lump at the back  of  my throat. A single tear rolls down my cheek.

I hate that I'm crying. I  kick her out and I  walk out thinking that things would be better for me. I started clubing.

I started sleeping  around.  And I  remember  the first time it happened. I felt so guilty at the end.

Flashback Over

Later I  never got guilty, it just became my normal. It became a habit a habit that got out of control.

I wouldn't be suprised if I had a bunch of children I didn't know about.