Pink

Somewhere

"Alessandro are you drunk right now?" I shriek in my pyjamas. He smashed a vase on the ground angrily and ran his hand through his hair. "Nnnnoooooo darling" he slurred sounding offended.

He has been acting strange lately, from the time he came back home bloody till now. He's recovered now and he's quieter than usual. He is always cooped up in his office. He even told me not to go out anymore. Safety precautions he told me. But wasn't our marriage the safety I needed.

Right now it's 2 in the morning and he's  drunk and angry. "Alessandro please just go to bed" I said tired not in the mood to deal with this. He walked towards me and grumbled "will you be in bed with me" wrapping an arm around my waist protectively  "Yes like every other night Alessandro" I said exasperatedly. He stepped back and pinched the bridge of his nose pacing back and forth.

"My whole fucking world revolves around you Martina" he said followed by a string of Spanish mumbling. "Everything I do no matter how much I do and how hard I try, it will never be enough" he punched another whole in the wall. "Alessandro please stop youre just drunk everything will be fine tomorrow when you wake up" I say soothingly playing with his hair.

"I'm not d-drunk sweatheart I am just a little tipsy." He sighs and lifts my chin up with his finger "and I think you look very gorgeous right now" he whispered and then held me tighter. "You ever just look at someone and think god, how can someone so perfect exist." He slurred as we walked up the stairs. I try not to laugh at how unaware he is of what he's saying. He undid his tie and took off his suit. "Alessandro shhhhh  and go to sleep" I said as he took off his shirt and disobeyed my orders and held me. "I know Pink"he slurred.

"I need you" he hiccuped and I try not to laugh "I can't live without you and I can't lose you" he whispered and kissed me hard. He probably isn't aware of the things he's saying and I know he'll forget once he's sober. Holding me tighter he began walking backwards to the bed.

I quickly realise that  what he's  saying is sounding way too specific. "What are you talking about Alessandro, why are you so paranoid, what aren't you telling me, I'm here in your arms and that's the only security I need" I peck him on the lips that taste of mint and liquor a surprisingly good combination. "I am not perfect Martina I am reckless and I do stupid things when I'm pissed and what if I fuck up"
"Shhhhh  Alessandro stop stressing and go to sleep worry later" I say resting my hands on his chest.

He lays back and brings me on top of him then he wraps a protective arm over my waist. "Martina" he calls and I hum, "Are you happy here?" He asks and I open my eyes and look at him. "Yes, why are you asking"

"I'm drunk that's why I'm asking" he says and I stiffle a laugh.  "if you want a different life, I can try to make that possible for you"
"I don't want a different life, I want you" I admit "say that again" how low his voice went sent shivers down my spine. "I want you" I whisper and know he's above  me kissing me slowly.

Why is he doing this to me, I feel like he loves me even though he never say it. I hate feeling that way because I know that straight after thinking he loves me I remember he doesn't, he can't. I push him away "I'm tired" I say and we fall asleep.

...

I feel the sheets and his side of the bed is empty. I hate this feeling, of being in the dark especially because I know that something is going on and not knowing  what it is. There's a little note on his pillow and I pick it up and read it

Be ready at 7 I want to take you somewhere. I'm sorry I got drunk last night too you shouldn't have to see me like that.

His handwriting was neat and tidy. I smile at the thought of him taking me somewhere because the past couple of weeks he's been busy recovering and working. And he has been really stressful too. I hope whatever battle he was fighting is over now.

...

I wear a two piece dress the top being a cropped corset and the bottom being a skirt, both made with the same fabric. I struggled for a bit but managed to get my curls into a high bun.

He calls me down and I  make my way to the veranda and then the driveway where Alessandro is on the phone looking away. I stand and wait, he ends the call and finally looks up at me   "una hermosa dama con un hermosa corazòn" (a beautiful lady with a beautiful heart) he smiles and walks towards me. He wraps his large hands around my hips and pulls me against him before he kissed me.

The kiss gets more heated and suddenly I'm against the Lamborghini with my legs around his waist. I feel his gun pressing on my thigh. He kisses down my neck and I through my head back "the gun on my thigh feels weird please take it out" I whimper when the gun is now against my womanhood. The thin fabric of my panties makes me feel the gun more.

"That's not a gun" he grinds against my womanhood and I gasp so loud. "Get a damn room" Riccardo says as he pulls into the driveway. I totally forgot about him. I push Alessandro away and get down on my feet feeling embarrassed. I enter the car and cover my face with my hands. I felt frustrated, it was weird, I just wanted him to grind on me forever.

Martina get a hold of yourself.

He begins to drive and I look out the window at all of the lights that light up the dark city. "I miss you" I hear his voice and I snap my head to him and he looked ahead as he drove his jaw ticking. I reach my hand over to touch his cheek to stop his jaw from ticking.

I kiss him on the cheek and he grumbles something in Spanish "eso da cosquillas" (that tickles) and a smile creeps up on his face. He has the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. I wish I saw it more often.