Amissis Imperium

Pueri of Mine

I had wandered over to the hallway, seemingly in a daze at what had just transpired --

At what I had done.

Aimlessly, I kept walking numbly, unable to fully comprehend happened. I knew that I had shot the gun -- Evan's body had fallen to the ground.  The blood escaping from his body the same way that Ally's had leaked out of hers. 

Death.

Why was there so much death all around me-?

There were more gunshots, causing me to briefly pause in my trance-like walking. Swallowing nervously, I turned my head, straining my ears to hear exactly where I had heard the gunshots coming from. 

After a few moments of pausing, I began to walk...now knowing exactly where to go. 

It was at this point that I realized just how sore my body had become. I had my fair share of cuts and bruises from the scrimmage with Evan. My head was already growing an intense, pounding headache from how hard it had hit the floor and wall earlier. 

My eyes drifted back down to my hands -- at seeing the clean, blood free hand. Although my hands weren't dirty, I still felt the overwhelming compelling urge to wash them with soap and water.

They felt so...dirty.

I was unable to stop looking down at my hands...at what they had done.

I was unable to shake the final picture that had been engrained into my mind:

Evan's limp body was still and not moving -- his corpse was as lifeless as I always hoped it would have been. It was oddly satisfying and yet...also nerve wracking that I finally held a moment of silence to myself. 

For the moment, at least...everything was quiet.

I had a chance to finally breathe for once.

I didn't think to check to see if he was still alive -- to place two fingers up against his neck and find a pulse. I hoped that the one bullet I had casted into his chest would have been enough to kill him. I didn't want to put my fingers on him, and I certainty didn't want to touch him.

Besides, I was anxious to meet up with my mother.

It had been years since the last time I had seen her – since the last time that she had hugged me -- embraced me in her arms. I yearned for the protection and the warmness from my mother that I had been denied of due to Evan and his sick game.

I was beginning to even get nervous from my prospective meeting of her. I knew that I had changed --

I had killed someone.

I was wondering if she had changed, too. Did she grow out her hair, or maybe she dyed it a different color?

My stomach was doing flips.

Vincent had said that she would be...

My body physically stopped walking as I lingered in the hallway. Blood was beginning to drain from my face at what I was seeing, not wanting to believe the sight that was in front of me. 

I stared at the figure that was Evan's mother, the black body bag was hastily being zipped up in front of me. 

Three men were around the body bag, somewhat blocking the woman's body from my view. I had still managed to see her pale, lifeless face...I could see her wide, open eyes of fear and terror --

Bianca.

She was...?

My legs began to grow weak as the realization hit me suddenly. I knew that there would be deaths in addition to Evan – like he had said before, there wouldn't be a peaceful solution to this entire war that was taking place. Still, I had wanted Bianca to be uninjured and alive through it all --