It'll Be Okay

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This is what I like to call projecting all my problems on my poor characters and also stress writing. Fantastic coping skill might I add. On that note, this ones quite sad. I'm sorry about that.

'I'm sitting here, crying in my prom dress. I'd be a prom queen if crying was a contest.'

The room seemed to lack depth. Louis didn't mean that by the actual size of the room, he knew it felt that way because of the people inside it. He also knew that in just a few months that these people would be a distant memory instead of his immersive present. So, as he sat alone in the middle of prom he wondered if all of these people laughing were just a fake persona so they could have at least one last night where they could dance with their friends in pretty dresses before the real world ripped them apart and left the sparkled cloth tattered. Or, if there was just something he was missing about the excitement of prom night.

With that, Louis didn't think that a boy he'd practically grown up with approaching him at this tragedy of a night would change his life. But, oh, how he was so wrong.

"You seem lonely." Said the boy with passionate, emerald green eyes, and curly hair that looked as though it belonged to a prince.

Louis clutched onto his plastic, transparent cup. "I could say the same for you. No way you would come over here unless you felt sorry for me, or you were just as bored."

"I guess you're right." The boy shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of punch.

Louis turned his body so he was facing the boy straight on. "So, which one is it?"

"It's really none of those, but if I had to choose I guess number two." He paused a moment, eyes darting around the room like he could read everyone's minds in just a split of a second. "But, I am curious, why are you alone?"

"I have shit friends." Louis turned back around and leaned against the table. "Why'd you leave yours?"

Harry chuckled to himself, but it seemed to be more sad than funny. "I have shit friends too."

"Ah, I see." He smiled weakly, "guess we're in the same boat then."

"Guess so." The boy took another swig of his drink, downing it all in one big gulp. "Well, I've got to go find said 'shit friends'. I'll see you around, what's your name?"

"Louis." He answered politely even though it stung just a bit considering they had been going to the same school for the last 12 years and had even been in the same class for 3rd grade.

He grinned, "great. I'll see you around, Louis."

"See ya." He waved and then returned to his mopey state. He wondered why the boy, or Harry as Louis knew him, would ever come over to him specifically when he could just go up to anyone and they'd be all over him. But, Harry seemed different tonight, like he wanted to run away from the people and escape, Louis had been told he was good for that. But, he's also been told that he's quite the liability.

After a few more songs, Louis decided that he looked stupid sitting there alone and it was time to leave. So, he threw away his cup, wiped off his black skinny jeans, and started on his long trek to the door. But, before he even got that far, Louis realized he needed to use the bathroom first.

He shuffled his feet out the door and into the men's restroom near Mr. Johnson's room. Louis opened the door and noticed sniffling as soon as he got inside. "Everything okay in here?" He asked, forgetting about his own needs.

"Y-Y-Yeah I'm fine. Everything's alright." Said a voice he recognized.

"Harry?" Louis approached the stall where he saw black chelsea boots peaking out. "Will you let me in?"

"I guess." He responded, and within just a few seconds, the stall was unlocked. "I'm fine, I promise. It's just a stupid thing."

Louis pursed his lips. "It's not stupid to me if it made you cry. What happened? If it's a secret I promise to keep it safe with me." He stepped into the crammed stall and sat next to Harry, slowly wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

"I just," he hid his head in his hands. "I'm just so tired."

Louis rubbed his shoulder repeatedly, trying to give some kind of comfort. "What are you tired of?"

"I'm tired of being me. I'm tired of having to make everyone else happy before myself." Harry sobbed into Louis' shoulder but he didn't care. "I want to be something to someone, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that." He sighed trying to think of some kind of advice. But, how could he give advice when he was feeling the same way? "Everything gets better, I promise it does."

Harry let out a breathy laugh, "people have been saying that to me for years, but somehow it just keeps getting bad again and then I'm exactly where I started before."

"Life is full of ups and downs, Harry. I don't think it was ever a promise when we started this whole life thing that said it would be easy, or a steady road." Louis pulled him closer feeling the need to protect him at all costs, even if it was just for tonight. "But, I think however many times we fall or stumble or get off the tracks there is always a way to get back where we want to be. But, you can't ever do that without fighting for it."

Harry nodded his head, "but it's hard to fight when everyone hates you."

"No one hates you! I can assure that."

"They will when they know my secret." Harry rubbed his eyes, just for more tears to roll down his cheeks. "When everyone finds out that I'm gay they'll look at me differently. I just know it."

Louis nodded knowing exactly what he was feeling, the pressure, the stress of having to lie about yourself all of the time. "Fuck them then. You are an amazing person Harry. You are kind, strong-willed, and smart. You should feel proud of yourself. And, it's none of their business to know your sexuality, you can keep it to yourself."

"I know, but the stress of having to lie is just really getting to me." Harry leaned his head back on the stall door, trapping Louis' arm right under the back of his neck. "I'm not a liar and this just feels like I'm going against everything I stand for."

"I understand that. I felt the same way before I came out to everyone. It's really hard and it sucks that we even have to question if our family members will stay by our side or not." Tears stung Louis' own eyes as he remembered what it was like to have to be hidden from the people he loved most. "But one day, when you feel safe enough to do so, there is going to be a moment where you feel clarity and are able to be free. That is going to be the moment you live for, I'm telling you it's powerful and beautiful even if it hurts to leave certain people behind."

"I just don't know how I'm going to make it to that moment. It's eating me alive right now." Harry said. It was hard for Louis to know exactly how Harry felt, like he was suffocating in a swamp of mud, but he was going to try his very best to give him all of the support he needed for now.

"Let's exchange numbers, okay?" Louis acted quickly and pulled out his phone from his back pocket. "If you ever need somebody, ever, text me. Don't be afraid to, okay? I'm going to help you make it to that moment even if it's the last thing I do because it's what you deserve."

Harry sent him a worried look, "I'm just so tired. I can't do it. I can't even carry myself anymore."

"You don't have to carry all this weight by yourself, Harry. Let me help you." Louis pleaded with him. "I know what it's like to try and carry it all. No one is strong enough for that, you've just gotta let people in. Let me in."

Louis couldn't read the expression on Harry's face but he could at least tell that he was thinking something, whether or not that was good news? That was something he didn't know. But, before he could question it too hard, Harry spoke. "Yeah. Okay."

Okayyy that's enough writing therapy for the day. I think this is quite an interesting story, so um, lmk if I should finish it or not. Anyway, I hope you have a good day. Love you all! 

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⏰ Last updated: Jun 04, 2022 ⏰

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