the kamisato clan, a major clan of inazuma with valued reputation that has to be held up by its heirs. y/n kamisato, the youngest of the kamisato clan though she wasn't born into the clan itself but rather taken in by the commissioner as a child. y...
✦⁺₊ dérive - lit. "drift"; a spontaneous journey where the traveller leaves their life behind for a time to let the spirit of the landscape and architecture to attract and move them.
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when i fall beneath the waves i usually expect to come back up, and i do. but each chance to breathe becomes further apart, each breath less than the last. each breath a staggering gulp of oxygen yet not enough to keep my lungs satisfied.
tossing and turning, struggling and scrambling, the legs and arms that were desperately trying to keep me afloat were exhausting themselves.
after a numerous amount of unsuccessful attempts i finally get a hold on the side of the ship to rest for a moment trying to catch my unsteady breath. clearly the idea of clinging onto the boat for dear life wasn't working in my favour.
there are two types of panic, one that's temporary, something on the line of an intense worry within your chest but the type you could push away - the type you could overcome if you really wanted to.
the second is something much worse, it starts off exactly as the same as the first although the only difference is that this type consumes you completely, there's an element of fear that's stirred within it.
your actions become erratic, your brain becomes fuzzy and you're so overwhelmed by the feeling that you can't operate properly ; some of those poor decisions you make out of sheer anxiousness could lead to a life changing impact so think carefully.
sure hope i'm the first one. screw this, i can't hold on forever.
taking the first step, i let go, sort of regretting my decision of leaving the only form of safety i had left - beginning to swim sloppily due to the amount of energy left in my system. the sooner i got to physical land the better, each stroke yearning for the need to get to shore.
if i seafloor was reachable, it would be different, there would be no signs of panic but rather relief. unfortunately that was not the case, what luck.
you'd think that the water wouldn't be so deep but it's simple really, it's just not ideal if the water was shallow the dock wouldn't be able to support larger vessels and boats. a harbour needs to be deep enough to keep ships from touching the seabed.
i feel like i've been doing this forever. would there ever be an end? will i ever get back to safety?
i push past my distracting intrusive thoughts, fearing that they would essentially sabotage me, focusing on what needed to be focused on. keep swimming. keep swimming!
