Malec Oneshots

ED

Trigger warning **mentions of self harm and an ED***

Alec pulled off his torn shirt and let it fall to the ground. Tonight hadn't been too bad, considering Jace wasn't there. An Avkan demon had gotten the better of him once and everything else had gone fairly smoothly. Alec looked up into the full length mirror that had been magically stuck up in the bathroom. Alec could only assume it was for Magnus to plan his outfits but Alec had taken to standing before it each day when he got home. Turning around he looked at the thin layer of fat that coated his belly. No matter how hard he tried and worked out, he couldn't seem to lose it. The thin lines that trailed his wrist also became clear on his pale skin.

Fat bitch. He'll ditch you if you don't do better, the voice inside his head muttered. Alec was so used to hearing it that it no longer bothered him. He knew what it was saying was true.

"Alexander! What do you feel like for dinner?" Magnus called from the living room.

Broken from his daze, Alec threw on a sweater that had stretched so far it fell down to his knuckles.

Collapsing down beside Magnus, he wrapped an arm around the warlock's shoulder and rested his head against Magnus'.

"Sorry Mags, I ate on patrol but I'm happy to get you something"

"Oh. Again? " Magnus said, looking slightly disappointed. "That's alright. I'll just conjure something up"

"Sorry"

"Don't be silly, it's not your fault at all. Now how about a movie?"

"Yeah, Mags, whatever you want"

Alec didn't really watch the movie, he spent most of it lost in his own head or watching Magnus' eye's light up at the screen. After the movie he stayed silent and hopped into bed without saying a word to Magnus. He could feel Magnus' eyes on him but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. He was so exhausted he could barely think.

The next morning Alec slept in but he still felt tired. A nightmare had resulted in a restless night with no time for breakfast. Alec raced out of the apartment, desperate to reach the institute in time. Jace looked at him weirdly when he raced through the door but didn't comment. It wasn't until lunch that Jace commented.

"You look tired, what's up"

"Nothin'"

"Then eat"

"I'm not hungry, Magnus made a huge breakfast"

"You sure"

"100% Also that could be poisonous"

"Don't let Izzy hear you say that"

Alec gave a small laugh and turned away. He didn't feel like watching Jace eat, it just seemed to make him feel sick. That afternoon Alec felt weak. A daemon had gotten the better of him a few times and Jace suggested he lay down or go home early. By the time his shift was over every muscle in his body was on fire and his limbs were weak. He practically stumbled through the door and straight into the sofa.

"Alexander" Magnus said, then froze when he saw Alec "what's wrong darling?"

"Nothing, I'm all good. Just tired. I think I'll go to bed"

"You sure. What about dinner"

"I think I just need to sleep Mags"

"Alright, let me help you. I see you haven't probably healed that cut on your shoulder"

Shit. Alec must be so malnourished his body couldn't heal properly.

"I'm fine," Alec said, jumping up. As he made his way over to the hall he suddenly felt sick. He wobbled slightly, putting his hand on his stomach. The black dots that had filled his vision all afternoon grew until it was too much. The last thing he remembered was hurtling towards the ground then nothing.

-----------------------

When Alec opened his eyes he felt like he had a dagger in his head.

"Ugh"

"Alexander!"

"Magnus? What happened?"

"You passed out"

"Really?"

"Why would you not tell me?"

"What?"

"Catrina said that you're severely underweight. You passed out because you haven't been eating. You lied to me"

"I'm sorry"

"No, don't say that. You always say that. You haven't done anything wrong, it's just I thought you trusted me"

"I do"

"But you didn't tell me"

"It's my fault. I didn't want you to worry or-or"

"Or what" Magnus said not unkindly

"Leave me"

"I would never leave you Alexander" Magnus said, reaching up and placing a hand on Alec's cheek.

"But I am horrible"

"You are not. You're perfect"

"I-"

"Don't say anything"

"But-"

"No buts. I will help you through this because I love you. I will not leave you. You are perfect and nothing left but I know what it's like to feel worthless, like a burden but I promise you, you are not a burden. You make my life so much brighter and don't you forget it, okay?"

"Okay. I love you"

"As I love you" 

A/N 

Hey loves, exams are over now so I plan to post more often at least for the next few weeks. I would really appreciate votes and comments (on anything, chapters you liked, feedback and just general opinions and stuff), Em xx