The Bucketlist

33| PARALLELS

"If you don't open up, I am gonna break the knob." Roms threatened from outside. 

Since she had brought me home, I had holed up in my bedroom. I couldn't speak and barely walked up. Somehow the heater wasn't warm enough to make for all the cold churning in the apartment that day. Or maybe, Will's touch had spoiled my senses. The spite in his eyes, burned a hole in my chest, still hurting. A hell lot.

'Leave me alone. I will talk when I can.' I texted, and she was no more banging on my bedroom door. I had told him to stop, and I haven't been able to utter another word to anyone. Everything about me sucked lately. I hate myself for doing that to him!

I stared at the tiles, crying worse than I ever had for the longest time. My throat turned dry. I could use some water, but my body barely moved. I lay frozen, trying to figure out what the hell I had done. Three hours fly by with me lying like a dummy in my bedroom.

I almost hooked up with Will Turner! I was dating Josh, and I practically cheated on him with Will. Tears stung my eyes and mercilessly drenched me down in my drizzle of guilt. Why did I have to act so horny? What happened to the woman of character that I always knew? Maybe Amanda was right. The co-workers who bitch behind my back are right. I have turned into a slut.

Nothing made sense to me anymore. Mikhail's words turn in my head to add more context to it. Figure out. But how? Maybe if I weren't acting like a selfish whore I could have saved both Will and me from this! If and only if I had been a bit more mindful. I sighed, letting my fingers run across the back of my stupid head.

I shut my eyes tight. As if that was going to stop the tears. It didn't. They kept on dripping.

Are you wet down here? His cologne. Stop. Stop. Stop. My head plays back the memory on loop.

***

2 AM. The analog clock moves with a tick-tock, the only sound I could figure out in the absolute silent misery that filled in. I heard someone ringing the doorbell! Wow, now I am hallucinating. I should have known that I am turning into a full-time crazy person.

"Are you crazy?"

Now I could hear Roms talk. Okay, that's nuts, but I quickly began to doubt whether it was all in my head. I might be dreaming. No one has track of things when sleeping, crying, and sleeping on a loop. I pinched myself hard. The pain was there. Sadly, it wasn't a dream. 

My eyes stung, and the voices weren't dying out. Okay, so someone was visiting us at two in the morning. The other logical question was, who?

"She might not be up for a visit," Roms added, and the next thing I knew, she was banging on my bedroom door, fully aware that I was not sleeping. 

She called it insepia, insomnia, or something like that. To cut it short, I had trouble sleeping.

"He's here for you. You might want to come and see for yourself!" She yelled, and the voices died.

My heart curled up. Was it Josh? Did Roms call him up? Curiosity got the best out of him. I turned the knob to see Roms in her pajamas and Will in a button-down shirt and denim.

My jaw hit the floor. Why 'Will'! 

Why would Roms do this to me? Does she think I need him right now? He is not even the last person I was willing to see.

"Tell him to leave. I have no business with him. As of now!" I said in between my sobs.

"Eva, just listen to me..." Will said, his grey eyes sympathetic. First, you act indifferent, and now you are pitying me? You are an asshole! The words didn't come out.