Impossible Redemption (MHA)

Ch 17. Sanity Is But An Illusion

Disclaimer: I do not own anything (Picture, Video, or Show/Anime)

Mentions of depression, self-starvation, insomnia, and suicidal idealization.

It's NOT a happy chapter!!!

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Numb.

It was the only thing Izuku could feel, it had been about a week since the void incident and he hadn't been taking care of himself. He just couldn't bother with it, not even Banjo had been able to get him to find the motivation to really care about anything. It was like the world had gone grey, lifeless in almost every way.

Aizawa had suggested not doing the Internships, but Izuku refused as he knew he needed something to do or he'd lose himself even more then he already had.

Four days, he hadn't eaten in four days and hadn't slept in forty hours, yet he didn't care about it. Not even the protests of the One For All users could get him to stop the self destructive path he was one.

His Super Regeneration required him to eat more then most people, due to this One For All was now back to slowly killing him. Slower then it had been last time, but it was still happening and he just didn't care. Maybe letting himself finally go will make his brother happy again, perhaps he could do one more thing right.

The only thing that had happened that even remotely cheered him up was time he spent with Banjo, as well as the arrest of Endeavour.

'Daffodil, your killing yourself...you need to stop.' Banjo practically begged, worry and honest fear coating their words. He just gave an empty chuckle, his currently dull green eyes staring at the wall.

'Is it supposed to hurt so much?' Izuku asked his lover brokenly.' I just feel like...I should just let go, I am so so tired.'

'I know, I know and I am here for you, I won't leave you.' Banjo murmured reassuringly.' I promise, Shiro. I swear I won't ever leave you willingly, just focus on yourself.'

Izuku just sighed, his eyes drooping again.

He was just tired of feeling like this, he wished he had it in himself to purge his emotions again. However he knew it would only lead to bad things, he had promised Yoichi not to go back down the path he was on originally. Even if his little brother hated him, he would still try and keep that promise.

"Midoriya, the one your doing an Internship with is here." Aizawa said, bringing Izuku back to the present and he gave a small nod to the teacher.

"Alright, thanks Aizawa-sensei." Izuku replied, standing up and walking over to the set meeting area. To his surprise as soon as he got there, the person who was standing there was Sir Nighteye.

Mirai gave him a sad smile and Izuku realized the green haired Hero had seen this in the vision he had just after the Entrance Exams, for some reason he didn't even consider that they had seen this. He gave the Hero a frown, but he didn't blame them as it would have been impossible to change the future they had seen.

"Midoriya, how are feeling?" Mirai asked gently, sympathy showing clearly on their face.

"As well as I can be expected to." Izuku admitted, taking a deep breath." Does it get better, or worse for me?"

Mirai hesitated for a moment, before giving a defeated sigh. Their expression though was more then the enough information, things would get worse before they got better. It was now a matter of whether he could last that long, he was so close to giving up and just turning the lights out himself.