A place in this world - peace series spin off - ellianas story

the first day

**Monday September 5th – 2039**

-ellies pov-

My alarm goes off and I want to hit snooze but then I realize that today is the first day off university. I'm attending Vanderbilt university and I'm excited. Today I'm officially a university freshman that's majoring in criminal law and a dance minor. During the four years I'm here in taking 11 mandatory criminal law classes and maybe 3 electives, and at least 7 courses in dance but one of them goes over four semesters. I might add more electives on that but by the classes I have picked I will have enough credits though. It's going to be a lot, but I can do it, I know I can do it. I've divided it all but taken more the early years and keeping senior year a bit lighter, so I have time to study for the LSAT.

I stand and look at myself in the bathroom mirror after I take my pajamas off. I feel disgusting. My belly is too big and my thighs too. There is nothing attractive about me and I don't want to look like this or feel like this. But no one will let me get away with losing weight. The stupid doctor makes me have weigh ins to make sure I'm not losing weight.

But I turn to the side and look at how much my stomach sticks out and try to suck it in to see if that looks better. It still looks too big; I wish I was as pretty as my friends. 

I get dressed in a pair of jeans and a cute top. My hair is pulled back in a ponytail and I do some simple makeup. Thankfully I don't have to deal with uniforms anymore like I did back in high school and earlier years. Now we can wear almost anything we want which is nice. Before I leave my room, I grab my backpack that I packed last night and my shoes.

Betty comes out of her bedroom a bit after me and we both get something for breakfast. I'm not really hungry, but one of the conditions my parents made for me to first of all stop therapy and then live on my own is that I eat three meals and at least two snacks every day no matter what. Eating is still an issue, and it flares up from time to time.

Last school year I had a relapse, I didn't need sectioning, but I did spend two weeks voluntarily admitted to an eating disorder unit. So after being looser with me for a while my parents got strict again, but I think I'm better now, at least i'm claiming to be better so people stop worrying about me. We have made a plan and for the first time I'm going to stick with it on my own without them hanging over my shoulder. Thankfully I did good all summer so that's a good start. I also have to get weight and blood taken at the doctors once a month just so everyone can keep an eye on me, that was a suggestion from the eating disorder clinic when I was discharged from inpatient in early February this year.

We both eat a quick breakfast and head out the door. We don't want to be late, and we want to run by Starbucks next door and get an Iced coffee for the walk to school as its hot outside. There is no need to drive there as we only need to cross the street and then we are at the campus, which is really convenient.

"Do you think you're going to run into him today?" betty asks as we walk with our drinks "I don't know" I mumble. There is no need to know who she means, Alex. He goes here and that's the only reason why I almost went away to university and not go here as I planned. But I didn't want him to get in the way of what I wanted to do either, it's a big university and I can manage to avoid him, I think.

We broke up almost a year ago to this day. To be exact it was September 20th 2038 which makes it exactly 350 days today, not that I'm counting or anything.... I haven't seen him since then either, thank God because I don't think I could handle it actually. Seeing his face would be too much, especially today. I need to focus on my future, and he is my past. The breakup was bad, at least to me it was, and I don't want to open that door again.

** flashback to 350 days ago ***

I'm driving to a park where I'm meeting Alex for a walk. We haven't really seen each other in a week so it will be nice to catch up and just spend some time together. It's been hard with him being in university now and me still in high school because we aren't in the same building anymore.