The Me In Media

CONFESSIONS⚘✾

I abjectly said to Him, "I know that this has been your doing and you did this despite my lack of faith. You're truly faithful and I am deeply sorry, Lord. Amen."

It could have happened that I turned famous as soon as I got in contact with Zeph through the contest but it didn't.

It could have happened that Zeph shared my contents to his walls and gave me fame all of a sudden but it didn't.

It could have happened that I missed signing up for the contest but it didn't.

It could have happened that I casually ignored Beck's first text but I didn't.

It could have happened that Beck never really came across any of my works until the very end but it didn't.

It could have happened that I never gained motivation to bounce back up and I simply gave up but it didn't.

Rather, it happened in the most extraordinary way, preplanned by God; that I meet the nephew of that celebrity erstwhile and I get to actually talk to Zeph privately!
I knew I had to submit to God in gratitude. ❉ *.¸¸.*✳

I was looking forward to having more conversations with God; He was starting to matter to me.
It had been very cumbersome to believe in Him in the virtual world because I viewed a lot of convincing contents specifically on Twitter and Facebook to doubt His existence. It was being shoved in my face therefore I didn't know what to believe.

                      ***
It seemed like during every period I stepped away from the socials for a while in order to meditate more and leave the crowd and kill my anxiety, I felt God even more.
Nature on the outside world, the force of nature and my meditation on it was one thing that compelled me to notice God's presence and glorify him. “For since the creation of the world, His invisible attributes are clearly seem, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse...” I once heard in Church.

But there was nothing natural in the virtual world even though once in a while, few godly people edified me with their contents and improved my knowledge and interest in godly matters, yet the next minute, on one and the same platform, I would accidentally bump into something lewd, vehement enough to pull me back. :(

Bonding with God was uneasy for me with the presence of the socials on my phone. I had seen Remi handle that just fine, I thought that that could be attributed to how long he had been a Christian but I wasn't humble enough to submit to his teachings nor let him know that I somehow had something for God too and it was unexplainable.

I knew I had a purpose, especially with all the knowledge I had obtained from my experiences on the media but I was yet to figure it out.

                     ***
Zeph spoke with my parents and with his manager saying he and his crew would like to sign a contract with me. I didn't know how that would be possible since we lived in different countries but social media made virtually everything possible.

I knew that a single reference to me by Zeph on his page would make me gain fame all around and I was desirous about that happening just so I could rub it in the faces of those who rubbed their success in my face, as well as those who refused to respond to my texts.╰‿╯ I imagined having my DM flooded with texts from people all around.

Zeph proposed that such wasn't necessary at the moment. He wanted us to make plans and put things in order before announcing me to the world.

                       ***
For the first time ever, my life was starting to go perfectly and this happened because of a little device in my hand. Ironic.

I took a great step to unblock all of the significant people I had blocked. I did this partly because I wanted the absence of any kind of grudge and I wanted them to have a look at the new me; to see that I was back on my feet, stronger, and very knowledgeable.

At midnight, I received a text from MoonBloom. I pretended not to see her text for a while, not wanting to respond in a haste in order not to feed her with the impression that I had been awaiting her texts all along.

When I eventually opened the text, it said "Hey."

I said, "Hi."

"Are we gonna pretend we didn't miss each other or what?"

"😂I didn't miss you but I can tell you missed me.😌"

"Lol. Why did you unblock me anyway, after everything?"

"Cause I just wanna be free, guiltless. I don't wanna hate on people I haven't even met before."
"Why didn't you block me back or something?"

"Because... I don't hate you. 😔 I actually regretted what I did."
This statement was a humongous relief on my soul. It made me so very elated!!!!!!! (ʘ‿ʘ)✿
"I've been so afraid to text you thinking you'd insult me or ignore my text."

"😮I was afraid to text you thinking you'd do the same!" WOW!!!

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
JOURNAL CORNER
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Negative assumptions kills. Make use of communication and gain peace.

"Look, I just wanna say I'm sorry about everything.😔 I didn't mean for anything that happened to happen. It was all my stupid cousin's idea. 🤬 I never knew the matter would be aggravated. I was haunted by my actions when that video went viral. 😩😩😫😫😫"

"It's okay. 😊 It taught me a lot of lessons."

"Well, I've got just one thing to say: I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE YOU, TEMI.🥺🤲🏾"
This text tossed me into a state of confusion but immediately, I had the urge to screenshot the text and update my status to show off for a while even though I was yet to find out what she meant by that.

"Be like me?😕😕😕"

"Yeah. You have your whole life all figured out. It's one of the reasons why I did what I did.😔"
"You don't have to go through so much pain. You're super smart, super talented, and extraordinarily beautiful. 🥺✨"

"Thanks but you can't be like me. I once wanted to be like you!"

"What?!😱"

Now, these are the kinda texts that gets you hooked.

"Yes! AAMOF, I was jealous of you. Apparently, your life seemed so perfect and you gained approval from everyone else while I didn't. You're also very cool and expensive."

"Yeah, the validation from people did make me feel good about myself. But how can you be jealous of someone who got kicked out of her house by her own mother, who has been physically abused by her insane mother and sexually abused by her uncle whom she fled to. Don't let this social media sh*t fool you, honey. I wouldn't come online to tell everyone about my problems; I'd make them think I'm completely fine even though I break down doing that at some point."

"WOAH! 😱😱😱😱😱😱🥺😢 You've been through so much! Your mental health must be at stake! How are you doing presently? Are you okay???🥺🥺🥺🥺"

"How about we leave that aside for now?"

"Okay."
"Well, one thing YOU'VE taught me is that you shouldn't wanna be like someone else cause no one's life is really perfect as you might think. Instead, discover your true self and be that person God wants you to be.❤️"

"Awww.🥺 I'm so happy we're finally friends. No more rivalry?🤜🏼"

"No more rivalry.🤛🏾😊"

Well, that settles it!㋡

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::♥• 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐉𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐎𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐀 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐓𝐀𝐆 “TMIM”

»» #TMIM

::♥•𝐅@𝐓𝐞𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐞