From Eden - Regulus Black (Complete)

Chapter Eighty-One

in this chapter I show a bit more of how I think Occlumency works, so please keep in mind I don't think that's how most people view it, but I wanted to show the organized and almost cold way I imagined Occlumency to work when I read Harry Potter for the first time and it just stuck to me.

THE WHITE BATHROOM DOOR

VERY TRIGGERING CHAPTER: SEXUAL ASSAULT, CHILD ABUSE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Severus Snape never in his life had felt so confused, but obliged so quietly to a summon of someone that barely seemed strong enough to hurt him if needed, but he was scared of Anne enough to receive the small note and just put it away, convincing his future self that whatever the girl had to tell him at eleven at night in the Room of Requirement was important enough to get himself at risk of being caught wandering around the corridors with Regulus in the middle of the night.

He wore something other than his school-robes this time. He wouldn't dare to say that, but he was sure that Regulus could see it, but he was excited to subtly show Anne how much better he was doing now that his father had no access more than absolutely necessary to the house's account – he had clothes that fit him now and his hair was better taken care of now that he had asked Regulus to teach him, his shoes no longer made his feet hurt and his school supplies were of the better condition there was. He wouldn't dare flaunt it or show it off in malicious means because he knew how it was to be on the other side of the political see-saw, but he wanted Anne to see. He wanted Anne to be proud of him.

If completely honest, he wasn't sure why, but he felt like he needed to impress Anne somehow. She had taught him a lot and put him in touch with feelings that his survival had made him put aside.

When he met her, he had been forceful, insistent and annoying to the point of making her (and others, he later found out) uncomfortable and awkward by second-hand embarrassment since he had never been too good in reading social cues. Still, she had looked at him with more force than he had been expecting and with some off admiration that soon faded into disappointment when he had forced his way into her mind. She pushed him off with a flawless technic that made him envious for weeks. While he sulked, Regulus scolded him time and time again, already seeing something that he couldn't on the red-headed girl. So, then, he apologized, or the best next thing. In that library, seeing her shaking, wide eyes and distant, clearly afraid of something he couldn't hear or see made him understand that her 'annoying' and 'academic-rival' persona was something that she used to put a barrier between the others and her. He thought it was over and that he had seen what Regulus had seen on her: the scared little girl flinching away from his touch, gasping for air as she shook sit on the library table with runes all around her. But then the day of the train came. It was then that he truly saw what Regulus had seen; the girl was stumbling away, gasping for air, eyes wide, skin pale and hands shaking and yet she hadn't asked for help, not for embarrassment, but because she had another focus: getting to safety, but less than five minutes later she seemed put together again, looking at him in the eyes and asking for communication with a known smuggler.

She was brave, cautious, smart and, more than anything, strong in a way that he couldn't see, but could feel. She was the contrary of his father, and yet so alike at the same time that it took him a moment to understand that he wasn't afraid of Anne, but that he respected her somewhat.

While Tobias Snape was big, intimidating, unforgiving, unapologetic and terrified every waking and sleeping moment of anyone around him, Anne was big, intimidating, unforgiving, unapologetic and yet made him feel safer than ever, because she was on his side and that ruthless girl would stand beside him even if the sky fell, as long as he was loyal to her and didn't hurt those that she was loyal too.