From Eden - Regulus Black (Complete)

Chapter One Hundred and Six -

GREAT IN BLACK

Darling Anne,

A letter such as this should've been easier to write.

Father is dead.

I shouldn't feel so badly about this. He was my father, but he was the one that allowed and enabled my mother to do what she wished to me and Sirius for so long. I shouldn't mourn the man that hurt me so much. Because of him, his ideas and his eagerness to keep our family name afloat, I was dragged to the wrong side of a war that I didn't even want to fight in. He saw my bruises, my cuts and my mental state after the tortures my mother put me and my brother through, and he looked the other way.

When I was younger, I hated how much I blamed him, after all he never as much as raised his hand against me without reason as my mother did, but now that I'm older and I see children the same age as I was when I was first hurt by her in front of him, I shudder. I was thirteen. I was younger than Barty! And I shudder at the thought of what the fifteen-year-old boy has to go through, I can't imagine seeing a thirteen-year-old suffer as well. I hated how much I hated my father and now I hate that I can't suddenly love him now that he is dead.

I don't know how I'll deal with the funeral, Anne-Girl.

The simple idea of those people that didn't know the true him, the monster that he could be when he wanted, all coming to me and giving their feeling and condolences as if they meant anything makes me nauseous. How disgusting it is to pretend to be sad over your father's death and not mean anything. And don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for what he did for us, especially for you and I am touched that what he asked in return was for my protection, but Merlin knows that there's not a single moment that my mind doesn't whisper that we are better off without him.

I'm the Head of the House of Black now, Lord Regulus Arcturus Black. How pathetic. How such a decaying name makes me feel like I am someone else entirely.

Regulus Black, the one that it's yours, I like him. I like how you describe him as kind and smart, I love how you make me love myself. But Lord Regulus needs to be someone else – he needs to be cunning and intelligent; and though I know that it won't make you be any less of a friend, it makes me worried of how you'll see me. You saw several versions of me, and I still fear that you'll find one to hate.

The funeral will in the 12th, I hope you can come. Severus will accompany you.

Faithfully yours,

Regulus

My dearest, Regulus,

My heart goes out for you. Either you accept it or not, either you choose repress it or not, you just lost your father and the changes that shall come from it will certainly impact you. As you said, you're the Head of the House now and there'll be duties and responsibilities that will come from it that you will need to be prepared for – what are your duties? What are you next moves? You can pass them through me if you want to talk about them, I'm a keen listener when I want to be. I won't even ramble, I promise!

I will be present at the funeral, as you surely know that I wouldn't leave you alone in such a moment. I wrote to Severus and he said he'll pass by the Manor at noon so we can go there together; he said he would write back to you to explain why we would go there so late, so I hope his letter has already reached you by the time you read mine, otherwise it might be a bit confusing.