Musings of the Insane

The beat of a heart

I miss you so much,

it's killing me.

Nothing I can do,

except sit here in tears

and break apart.

I was so scared,

I never wanted to lose you.

damn it, I'm insane,

but I didn't want

you to see it, too.

I need you,

so much it scares me,

and now I just can't let go.

I wish it had turned out different,

I wish I had been different.

You were an angel,

your eyes were so bright.

But I never thought you'd do this,

you said I was your everything.

I'm not even a thought,

a flash in your mind,

you don't care about 

the way that I cried.

Because I wasn't good enough,

because I was broken.

I tried to hide it,

but you saw it.

Only for one second,

like the beat of a heart,

but it was long enough.

You saw it and ran.

We loved for over a month,

secrets and kisses shared,

but it only took a second to

tear it all apart.

The time in the space,

the beat of a heart.

I want to disappear.

And I will.

Pain meds, ironically.

And then I'll be gone.

In the beat of a heart...