our life-Billie Eilish

Chapter 6

"Hey, it's alright- Don't hide baby." Billie whisper while pulling my hands off my face. "Hey look at me." Billie promotes and I look up at her, our eyes locking and I can feel my shoulders relax. "Now take a deep breath in- yeah just like that and now breath out- yeah good girl." Billie praises and in every other situation, I'd probably be down on my knees but it's not the time for being horny.

"Continue whenever you're ready." Billie says softly and I nod. "So eh- like I said we told each other everything and ehm- one night we eh- we were high and i told him that I had this weird feeling for girls. I told him I like girls and he ehm-m he ignored it and the next day- ehm when I came home from school my mother was waiting for me. She- she confronted me and after a while I confirmed it and she- ehm...she didn't...react too well..." I explain as Billie's hand runs in soothing motion over my back, trying her best to comfort me and make me feel safe.

"It was one of the worst days of my life." I whisper as my lower lip begins to tremble, remembering that night more vividly than I wish and like Billie can reads my thoughts, she hugs me a bit tighter. "I'm so sorry Y/n." Billie whispers in a breathy tone and I pull apart to look at her. I cup Billie's cheek and make her look down at me, her teary eyes making me pout. "Don't cry baby." I whisper and she smiles softly at me while leaning her head more into my touch. "I'm sorry that you went through so much, I had no idea." Billie whispers. "Don't be, it kind of shaped me and made me who I am today." I explain and she nods slightly, pity written all over her face.

"I should continue..." i whisper and she nods. "My mom ehm- she abused me and started beating me up constantly." I reveal and Billie pulls me back into a hug. "After that she wanted to send me to a re-education camp and when I refused...she kicked me out but luckily my sister helped me through it all- and I'm so grateful for her. She's one of the most important people in my life." I explain and she nods. "I know she is." Billie confirms.

"So ehm these past weeks... if I'm being honest, since our engagement. I- ehm I can't get them out of my head. I want my dad to walk me down the aisle, I want my mom too cheer me on, to be present at our wedding. I want my mom to help me pick my weeding dress, I want her to be here for me, I just want my mom..." I whisper but get cut off by a sob. "I get that Y/n and I'm so sorry she can't be here for you." Billie whispers sadly. "She can but she doesn't want to." I whisper sadly as Billie wipes my tears away.

"So you decided to visit them and it didn't go well?" Billie asks and I nod. "Mhm, it went pretty shitty but ehm- my dad was pretty supportive. He even told me that he's proud of me and I don't know that sounds cringe but it meant a lot to me...but my mom, well she started talking about some 'perfect boy' for me that she met the other day but I stood up for myself...for us. I told her that I'm engaged and that I'm going to marry you no matter what. She didn't took that well... I mean I already knew she never was fond of my sexuality, but the possibility that I could marry a girl, drove her over the edge... she slapped me across the face." I reveal and Billie pulls apart to look at me.

"I am so so fucking sorry baby, she'll never lay a hand on you again, I promise you." Billie assures me and I nod before hugging her tightly. "Thank you baby." I mumble into her neck as Billie kisses the top of my head. "After that my dad stood up for me and my mom ehm- she- ehm- I don't know how to tell you this or if I should..." I explain and Billie nods. "You can tell me anything." Billie reassures me and I nod while pulling apart.

I take a deep fucking breath in before continuing. "She told me if I would marry you, that I no longer would be her daughter..." I whisper and Billie's face turns into pure fear. "BUT that doesn't mean I don't want to marry you. You're the love of my life and you mean the world to me. She doesn't mean shit to me anymore. She disowned me and made it clear that she doesn't want to be a part of my life and if I'm being honest, I think it's better this way anyway." I explain and Billie nods with teary eyes.