our life-Billie Eilish

Chapter 17

The second her head hits the pillow, I snuggle into her side. "I'm so sorry Billie, I don't know what I was thinking... I was just so hurt and confused, I didn't know what to do-" I start apologizing but Billie cuts me off, "It's okay, we'll talk about it tomorrow. Just go to sleep, okay?" Billie asks and I sigh before nodding. "Okay, goodnight. I love you." I say while hugging her tighter, "Goodnight and I love you too." she says softly before kissing the top of my head. I close my eyes, feeling slightly better and not long after, I start falling asleep.

-

I groan as the sunlight shines through the curtains and directly onto my face. I slightly open my eyes but shut them immediately as I feel my head pounding, gosh I hate handovers. I slightly sit up while rubbing my eyes and notice that I'm alone in bed, fuck. I reach over to my phone to check the time, it's not even 6 am. I groan before standing up and tiptoeing out our bedroom. I walk to the guest room and slowly open the door, finding Billie passed out on the bed. I sigh while closing the door again before I make my way into the kitchen and take some pills to ease my headache.

I make my way back into our bedroom and change into some sweatpants and a white shirt along with some run shoes. I'm going on a run, I need to clear my head. I take my keys, AirPods and phone with me before making my way downstairs and out the door. I take a deep breath in while putting my AirPods into my ears then start running. I run without any destination, not really knowing where I'm going. I run through the nearest park and along some normally busy roads. After about twenty minutes, I stop and put my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath.

Sweat is dripping down my body as I straighten myself up again. I look around and spot a bakery on the other side of the road, I might as well grab breakfast before going home. I look to the right and to my left before crossing the road, but as I cross the road a car comes rushing towards me. I close my eyes shut, awaiting the impact but I hear the breaks of the car screeching and my ears start ringing... I can't breath, I open my eyes to see the car was able to stop before colliding with me.

I clutch my hand onto my chest, as I feel my heart start pounding. I stumble backwards and fall onto the sidewalk. I pull my knees to my chest before wrapping my arms around them. Fuck, I start hyperventilating but a hand on my shoulder startles me. I look up to see the driver trying to comfort me and behind him are a group of paparazzis snapping pictures and filming me. Fuck, this can't be good... I'm taking a break from everything, got engaged, got into a car accident and now I'm sitting on a sidewalk having a panic attack.

"I'm sorry, ma'am are you alright?" The driver asks me and I nod while holding my breath. He helps me back up and I start walking away, keeping my gaze down.  The paparazzis surrounds me as I take my phone out to call my bodyguards, I give them my location and walk into the near by bakery.

I try to keep myself together but fail miserably so I run into the bathroom. I cry into my hands, trying to muffle the sounds. I have to finally get my shit together, I'm really starting to drown in my own personal hell. I have to figure stuff out and start to work again, I need my routine back, my old life... running away and hiding from everything isn't helping me.

After about twenty minutes James, my manager is knocking on the bathroom door. "Y/n, it's me James, the security is here." James tells me and I let a small 'okay' out. "Open the door and we'll talk okay?" James asks and I sigh before unlocking the door. James slowly opens the door and steps inside. "What's been going on lately? You only call me to manage things but no meetings, nothing. Y/n I've been working for you since the beginning of you career. You're like a daughter to me but I can't help you if you don't talk to me." He explains in a soft voice. "I'm sorry James, I- eh, I need help." I mumble and he nods, "It's okay, we'll find you help okay?" He asks and I nod so he holds his hand out for me to take. I stand up and he helps me clean up my makeup and make myself look presentable.