Sign Here for Vengeance

Chapter 49.5: I Missed the Chance

OLIVIA

We peacefully laid on the bed, breathless from another... session. Our clothes were scattered all over the room near his bed. We had nothing on under his grayish sheets.

I lied on top of him, my head and hands against his sturdy chest. My heart pounded, almost ripping out of my skin. I could feel Judah's chest pulsing as well, though I wasn't sure if it was his or mine, reverberating on his skin.

I lifted my head, only to find him looking at me. He smiled and leaned in, planting a kiss on my forehead.

"Damn it. Your stamina is incredible."

I laughed, sinking my head to side of his neck to hide my blush. I quickly recovered, "It comes with the goodwife package."

"Great wife, you mean," he chuckled, running his fingers through my hair. "You're amazing."

My whole body shivered. His words never fail to make it that way. I inched closer to his face and lightly kissed him on the lips, "And so are you. In every way."

His eyes widened. His whole expression looked so tender. But then, a mischievous smile formed on his lips. In a second, he grabbed my waist and gently flipped me over. I let out a gasp as I was rolled around and pinned down by my husband. But as we got into our new position, we both groaned in sore pain.

"Ugh. You felt that too?" he asked.

"Yeah," I groaned. We've reached our limit. We've done it way too many times.

"Alright. Try to keep your hands off me for a minute. You need to rest."

I rolled my eyes, "Speak for yourself. You're the one who keeps grabbing me."

He laughed as he lied down beside me, "Well, you never tell me to stop. So..."

We turned to our sides, facing each other, "Ah, so it's my fault?"

"It's a hundred percent your fault," he smirked, pulling me closer to him until our limbs entwined. "Always looking so perfect. Making me wait for months. You have no idea how much I had to control myself around you."

I covered half of my face with the blanket as I felt heat crept up to my cheeks. Damn it, what's the point of resting if he keeps turning me on?

I inched closer to his face and whispered, "Who says you're the only one who held back?"

He grinned, looking flattered and flushed, "Damn it, Olivia. What's the point of resting if you keep turning me on?

"That's what I thought!"

And we both laughed out loud. In sync, we let out a contented sigh and just gazed at each other.

"Your hair," he blurted out, "it's growing out. I can already see your natural brown."

"Yeah. I need to touch up my roots soon."

He kept looking at my scalp, "When this is all over, I want to see it. Your real color. The real you."

"I'm still me no matter what color I dye my hair, you know."

"It's because you have to dye it." He cupped my face, "Someday, I hope you won't need to."

I held the hand on my face, giving it a light squeeze, "Me too."

He smiled back, putting his arms around me and resting his chin on my head. I snuggled up his bare chest, trying to calm my thoughts.

But I couldn't.

When Judah mentioned about me not having to hide one day, I couldn't help but get restless. I do hope that day will come too. The day when I can be free from my fear of the Harrisons; when I can let the world know that a Reagan still exist, and I can finally bring everyone back home.

Avenge my family, myself, Pauline and everyone who died on that plane.

But what if I fail?

"Judah?" I looked up.

His eyes were closed, but he replied, "Hmmm?"

"What if... we failed to take down the Harrisons?"

His eyelids slightly opened at my question. He titled his head down to look at me, "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. Just a possibility."

"But we are winning. We just got ahead of them at—"

"But that's only one thing. Harrison has been around longer than Kingston. They have lots of connections. Stronger ones. In everything else, they're ahead. What if... I'm not enough to take them down?"

"Olivia," he whispered my name, tucking a strand behind my ear. "Kingston is doing great with you. You don't need to worry about anything. Besides, if we fail to conquer them in business, we still have that evidence you're working on, right?"

My heart skipped a beat. I tried not to make my nervous swallow too audible.

"Right," I let out a shaky breath. "Or I could reveal myself and testify—"

"You won't need to do that. I won't let you in harm's way, I promise." He rested his chin on my head again, "Now, let's not think about that, alright? Let's just rest."

I nodded, letting him rest his eyes. I watched him in silence as he quickly fell asleep. I spent the time just looking at him, like it was the last time I'd be able to do it.

Judah was always able to calm me whenever I'm in doubt, but not this time.

We've finally become the closest we have ever been. We have claimed each other, truly. An actual married couple. To me, I have become his and I have never been happier.

I've already known it for myself for quite some time now...

I have fallen deeply, truly and completely in love with him.

And though my heart is elated that I was able to love again, my mind is in turmoil.

I'm still unsure of how Judah feels about me. Though one thing is sure—he is not like Clyde, and he will never hurt me like he did. But I know what love can do to me.

Little things take a toll on my heart. I let the pain of the past get ahead of me, like with Isabella earlier. Then I forget to be the perfect partner I promised to be—the partner I need to be for our goal.

If we fail to defeat the Harrisons in the business, we'll have to resort to the Aero Kea murder, which I have no evidence of. Judah will have no choice but to leave me; to save Kingston from being dragged to the ground. It's the rational thing to do.

And I don't know if I can take that— the man I love leaving me again or Kingston being ruined because of me.

"Judah," I whispered, letting my tears fall, "please don't hate me."

After making sure that he was really asleep, I slowly stood up and left the bed. I bent down and kissed his forehead, careful not to wake him up. Without causing a creak, tap or any other sound, I gathered my clothes from the floor and went to the door.

But just as I was about to leave, I felt a prickle in my chest. Giving Judah one last look, letting one last tear fall, leaving three last words...

"I love you."

I walked out the room with my resolve. 

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Author's Note: 

Yet another frustrating epiphany from Olivia. Sorry for the slow development guys. There's still a lot that needs to be revealed before everyone can be happy. 

And sorry for the late update. I've been busy with work and my new small business! It's doing great and I'm really enjoying it. 

Anyway. Til the next update! Love you all. 

Ahn Onimus