𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓿𝓸𝓲𝓬𝓮 ෴ 𝓼𝓾𝓷𝔀𝓸𝓷

one

—————

yang jungwon's personal diary

page, 1.

february 9th, 2020

—

no one has come despite the invitations i have sent out.

honestly, what did i expect?

no one in my family sees me as apart of the yangs.

but.. what have i done wrong?

is it because i refuse to even utter a word with my mouth?

or am i just a disappointment in general?

i was born like this.. theres nothing i could've done.

you're so delusional, yang.

no one fucking loves you.

might as well end it all already.

you're just a waste of space, do it already. why hesitate?

is this why my parents don't love me?

i'm the reason my mother died, anyway.

end

—————

yang jungwon's pov

its been a few years since the incident that has left me traumatized me for months.

i grew up in a quiet household. conversations weren't longer than 5 words because there just isn't enough to talk about. so, this led me to think that talking wasn't necessary. i didn't talk for a few years until i lost the courage to speak from that day.

it's okay, though. getting bullied is like my daily routine. it would be strange if one day i suddenly stopped getting harassed.  although i do wish for that day to come, it's just hopeless.

ever since that day, i've been carrying around a blue notebook in order to have some sort of way to communicate.. unfortunately, thats become another reason for people to come and pick at me. it had smiley stickers and a header 'yang jungwon'.

i'm so childish, right?

once again, what did i expect.

we had to move houses a few days after i got brutally fucked up in an alleyway after refusing to cooperate with some.. dickheads. and those dickheads were the friends of my "bestfriend".

we moved in to a small house, located a few miles east from the downtown part of the massive city seoul. the house was simple since i was only living with my father and his girlfriend.

they didn't really talk to me and when they did, it was like a truckload of insults that they randomly generate throughout the day.