CRAVED

FOURTEEN

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{unedited}

Geneva couldn't breathe in the dark water that submerged her to the floor. She couldn't breathe. And when she did, it burned her lungs all the way to her blood stream and vessels.

Acid.

Liquid acid that scorched away at her soul. And she'd wished for death. It was the worst kind, but knowing the deserved every ounce of the punishing pain, she accepted it.  For it had all been her fault.

Laden , deeply woeful, forlorn, despondency  and  severe heartache. Torment  and agony   not only tagged but like curved hooks , pierced through her  , both above her breastplate and  pushed further into her skin and flesh only to proceed and drag her down into a  pitch-black darkness abyss.

The gravity of every weight the world could and offered accompanied the painful tag and she found she couldn't breath. It wasn't water. It was empty, but she still couldn't breath with ease. She felt surrounded, severely suffocated and gravely alone.

Each inhale burned and scrapped at her like she had pulled air filled with  small pieces of blunt  glass. Heart  heavy it was a struggle for her to acknowledge the rise and fall of each inhale when each cycle was a reminder of her beautiful mother's chest that stained in red whilst she watched her  body gradually give way to  gravity. Watch her precious life slip from her body,  unable to run to  and offer any sort of help.

It had hurt the most being unable to break free of the thick rope that had held her back.  Unbadged   against her strength  rendering her effort futile when in deer need.

Her world had collapsed right before her eyes. Gradually, the dispute of magnitude it left held no  room for   blame. Because  blame lost its stand against the current excruciating waves  of grief she was  thrown into. It had no ground either. She'd lost all grounding to hold to vehement thought when blame and guilt lost the platform they'd changed her to.

No match against the whirlwind of a storm and hurricane the lose of a loved one brought. It had crusted down on her with full force.

Death knew no friend.

Though this hadn't been inevitable death that was unavoidable, it's course one that took its natural occurrence in the cycle of life .

This had been life taken.

From her mother. Her loving  and kind mother who had been shot to the chest before her eyes because of her decision to run home into the very warm  arms she was supposed to. To turn to away from the persecutions of life that snipped their claws and vice grips  at her.

And the hands that had pushed it far beyond her box of comfort and normality were  the very ones that had showed how effortless it had been to crush and burn  her warm place of solitude into ashes like  precious white  petals of  a Lilly set on fire  and left to burn.

Marcelo had done that.

All of it. And not  only did he darkly  cross her mind but was ever at the back of it. He resided in her mind like an unwavering shadow. Even though it was her mother and the grief of it all that had  engulfed her being  in  midnight  fog, suffocating  and tightening its reins on her the minute she could come up to breath a little, he was somewhere there. Always. Looming with persistent presence of its own.

Geneva couldn't move physically, and emotionally, her heart was the weight  of osmium  which proceeded to sink further  into  the depths of the dark and lonely  ocean she'd come to find herself in with no one to hold her hand nor tell her that it would be okay with each passing hour.