Pretty Broken Butterfly

There's a reason for warning signs.

One Year Ago

There's always that one part in a movie or a book that grabs a hold of your guts and doesn't let go. It's the first hint that your emotions are about to be damaged from a betrayal you never saw coming. You're unable to pull your eyes away because you just have to ride full speed ahead to the wreck you know is about to happen.

That's the best part about those stories—the impact from the collision and the feelings you're left with when everything comes to a standstill. They all rush you at warp speed, battering against your heart for a way in. When you're a seeker of angst—an emotional masochist as my best friend Amelia likes to call me—you permit them entrance so that they'll make you feel alive.

It's different when it's your story.

I live my life to the fullest without regret or an apology. You're only given one of them, so I vowed the day we lost my sister that I'd cram as much into the years I had on this Earth as I could. My heart always stays open to any experience that is thrown my way, and I embrace them wholeheartedly.

Normally.

Normally, I would embrace them without reservation.

"Girl, are you finally ready to go to this party and relax?" Amelia asks, bouncing up and down on her feet. "You've been busting your ass between school and work."

Pieces of my curly lavender hair flutter around my face when I blow out a breath. "Yeah. Keaton is excited for us to spend time together tonight. The last few weeks we've been busy with final exams and shit that it feels like we haven't seen each other in forever."

Amelia's gray eyes widen. "It's that bad? You two live together, though."

"We do, but the only thing we have time for when we get off work is shower, sex, and sleep." After touching up my mascara, I toss it on the vanity and turn to her. "I know it'll get better after graduation. We'll finally be finished with college, so we'll have a lot more free time."

There must have been a bug going around campus. That's got to be what this churning in my stomach is. I've been fighting it for the last few hours, to no avail.

"Charlie, are you okay?"

Not wanting to miss out on the chance to spend time with Keaton and our friends, I paste a smile on my face. "I'm good. How do I look?"

Amelia's lips curl into a devious smirk. "Oh, I can't wait to see Keaton's reaction when he gets a good look at you. That boy will throw you over his shoulder and cart you off to the first available empty room."

I giggle as her words create a short film in my head. Keaton and I definitely have no problem in that department. The chemistry between us has always been combustible. We were sixteen when we finally took each other's virginity. We had fooled around a lot before then, but we just never let it get that far.

I met Keaton after we moved next door to him. My fifth birthday was a few days later, and I was excited that I had someone I could invite. My sister was only two, so she wasn't as fun to play with. I finally had someone my age, and it didn't even matter to me that he was a gross boy. It took us a while to warm up to each other, but after he came to my party, we became best friends. He had turned five a week before I did and it was the coolest thing ever because we celebrated every birthday after that with a dual party. We became best friends, fell in love, became a couple when we were fourteen, and became lovers at sixteen. Here we are, both twenty-one and about to graduate from college. Then we're going to get a house, start our careers, get married, and eventually, we'll start a family. It's been one of our biggest dreams since we got fake married at eight years old.

Not much longer to go before we get started on them.

"Let's hope so. That boy's sexting powers are ridiculous. He had me all hot and bothered while I was serving customers and nearly had to go to the bathroom to take care of myself."

Snatching the keys to our apartment off the hook and double-checking that I've got my phone, I lock up and meet Amelia at the bottom of the stairs.

"Ohhh. You naughty little butterfly," she teases, walking backward so she can see me. "How in the heck do two people who've only ever slept with each other get to be so filthy?"

"Porn, my friend. Lots and lots of porn," I quip with a wink.

My words make her stumble, and she almost falls on her ass, which has me clutching my stomach as my laughter rings out around us.

She dusts her hands together and shakes her head at me with mock sorrow. "Your poor innocence has been stolen."

"Well, yeah. Look at who my best friend is."

"Why I never."

We settle into a quiet conversation about classes and she spills the tea on all the juicy gossip she heard today.

I'm glad I wore my sandals instead of the freaking three-inch heels Amelia was trying to get me to wear with this dress. I'd be eating concrete before we even make it to David's party.

As soon as the loud music and the raucous laughter from a bunch of drunk college kids find my ears, I send off a text to Keaton to let him know I'm here.

By the time we make it up the porch, he still hasn't replied, and that bug is making my stomach roll again.

There's a reason for warning signs.

A yellow stoplight warns you to slow down because traffic is about to stop, the flammable symbols that warn you of chemicals and gases that may catch fire when exposed to air or another ignition source, or the skull and crossbones that warn you of chemicals that can cause damage to your health or a fatality at even a low exposure. The yellow and red flags at the ocean give you swimming warnings and the sneaky way your significant other hides their phone sends out a red warning flag of suspicious behavior.

They're all around you every day, urging you to pay attention to them so that you can prevent being harmed.

My body, or maybe it's my soul, has been sending me warning signs all day, but I've denied their validity.

It's a mistake I'll be sure to never make again.