Pretty Broken Butterfly

...So We Let Them Speak

Six Months Ago

We're about to head into the police station when Alek's phone rings. He glances between Charlie and me with a smirk before answering. The conversation is short, only one or two words from Alek before he hangs up and turns back to us.

"Work calls. Do you think you two can manage this on your own?" he asks us both, but his eyes are on Charlie, letting me know who he's really concerned about, as he should be.

She nods, and he turns to me. "Can you get her home safely?"

"Charlie? Is that okay with you? If you'd rather Uber, I'll pay for it," I say, not wanting to take any more choices away from her than I already have.

She nibbles on her bottom lip and I have to squeeze my fingers closed tightly to keep from reaching over and pulling it from between her teeth.

Finally, she blows out a breath. "Yeah, that's okay."

Alek takes Charlie to the side and pulls her in front of him with his hands anchored at her hips. I should look away and give them their privacy, but I'm unable to look away as they converse quietly. Charlie has her hands on his chest and she's smiling up at him as he talks. She seems happy, but I can't be sure. I know she's definitely content, though.

Unable to take anymore, I turn away and walk toward the steps of the station. I take a seat on them and bury my face in my hands while I take a minute to allow my heart to catch up with what my head is understanding.

Charlie Henderson...that girl doesn't need Keaton Carr. Not anymore. She's becoming her own beautiful person.

"I'm sorry," her quiet voice washes over me from above, and I shiver at the spark of pleasure when it does.

But then her words register and I'm jumping to my feet. "What? Why the hell are you apologizing?"

"For you having to see us like that."

"Fuck, Charlie. Don't apologize for being happy. That shit will never require an apology to me."

"I'm still sorry you had to see it, Keaton. I know from experience it's not the easiest thing to see."

I shove my hands in my pockets and tilt my head back to the sky as I blink away the tears that want to fall. But then I glance back down at her. "How the fuck can such an ugly world hold something as good and as beautiful as you?" I ask gruffly.

She shrugs, looking uncomfortable. "I'm just human, Keaton. Don't put me on a fucking pedestal. I'll fall off every time. Come on. Let's get this done."

The process doesn't take as long as I expected it would. Before we know it, we're walking out the doors feeling positive that something will be done.

Charlie messes around on her phone for a second before sliding it into her bag and grabbing mine. "What happened to your other phone?"

My body tenses at the question, but I know I better give her complete honesty to any question she asks. More than that, I want to be completely transparent with her.

"I lost it that day when I went to Rianna's."

She flinches, and I want nothing more than to erase the last three years. I'd love a do over because I'd have walked the fuck away and never looked back as soon as I realized I was attracted to Rianna.

Hindsight is twenty-twenty.

Now all I can do is live, learn, be humble, and become a better person in everything I do.

"So, you actually went to her house that day. Color me shocked." Charlie passes the phone to me. "Thanks for actually being honest, I guess."

"I always will be from now on, Charlie," I say quietly. "I'm sorry. I'll say it as many times as I need to, but as you said, they're just words from once deceitful lips. You've got no reason to believe me until I can show you how much I am."

Things grow quiet as we stand on these damn steps and I know I should make us leave but, fuck, the thought that we'll leave here and that'll be it crosses my mind and I can't seem to say the words 'let's go.'

When I glance over at her, she's chewing on her damn bottom lip again, bruising it up, and I can't stand the thought of her hurting herself anymore.

Before either of us can think clearly, I'm standing in front of her with her chin cupped gently in my hand while I use my thumb to pull her lip from between her teeth.

I run my thumb over the damage spot to soothe it as we stare at each other. "Stop doing this," I murmur. "I've hurt you enough. Don't do more damage to yourself."

It's there between us. The memories, the plans for the future, the love, the pain. It plays out silently between us as we hold others' eyes.

Hers screaming, 'You broke me.'

Mine crying out, 'I'm sorry.'

Hers wailing, 'I hate you.'

Mine shouting, 'I hate me too.'

Hers sobbing, 'I hate that I love you.'

Mine exclaiming, 'I love that I love you.'

So many things in such a short amount of time that our eyes say to each other before Charlie realizes what's happening and pulls away with a frown.

"Thanks for letting us know about the video and for being here while I filed the charges against Rianna."

I step back further and shove my hands back into my pockets because right now, all I want to be doing is touching her again.

Fuck. How the hell am I supposed to be cramped in a vehicle with her when all I want to do is pull her into my arms and hold her to me until we both take our last breath?

"It's the least I can do, Char. This is all because of my fuck up. I'm the one that brought this mess to your life."

"Yeah," she says softly, coming to stand beside me. "I ordered an Uber, but I'm paying. I know I agreed to you giving me a ride, but I'm just not ready. If I'm honest, this is actually a lot for me. It's not as hard as it was in the beginning, but it's still difficult being around you, Kea."

I hold my hand out next to hers, honestly not expecting anything, just wanting to feel the heat from her. "I understand, Charlie. It's okay. You do whatever you need to feel safe."

The quick squeeze to my hand is startling and so fleeting that I might have just imagined it because I want to feel her touch so badly.

We both watch silently as her Uber pulls up.

"Charlie," I say in a low voice.

She shakes her head. "Not yet." Her eyes roam my face for a second. "Take care of yourself, Keaton Carr."

My throat tightens. "You too, Charlie Henderson."

I feel as if I'm destined to watch the love of my life walk away from me for the rest of my life. The sad part is, I have no one, absolutely fucking no one, to blame for that except myself.

And that's a really fucking bitter pill to swallow.