How can I fly away from him when he is the one that clipped my wings?
Girl meets boy.
Boy and girl become childhood friends.
Girl and boy fall in love.
Boy cheats on girl in last year of college and breaks her heart.
It's the same tragic story that'...
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Ten Months Ago
When Rianna left, I didn't say another word to Alek. My mind is a chaotic mess as I try to process the kiss and my feelings about it.
I should have never been in this spot. I should have never felt another guy's lips against my own. I never should have been fighting to move on from a guy I've been with for so long.
Keaton did this. He put me in the position where I'm left with no other option. I'm left wading through the shattered fragments of a relationship that I was sure would last a lifetime. Now I have to pick up the pieces and find out where they fit in building my new life.
I owe it to myself to at least try to see if I can not only find happiness in myself but with another person.
Before Keaton cheated on me, which I'm finally seeing was a lot longer than I wanted to admit, I would have never even thought about it. Keaton was all I could see. He was my life, my love, and my heart. He was the only person I wanted to be with. Keaton Carr was my end game and had been since the moment I met him at five years old. To know that it was so easy to turn away from me after everything we've been through kills me. It makes me question everything we had together because if our love was real for him, then he shouldn't have been able to push me to the side so easily. If it was real, another girl wouldn't have been able to take my place. Keaton had another girlfriend, and I didn't even know it.
Or more like I didn't want to admit it. Not until I had to.
Keaton wasn't the only one in heavy denial and it took witnessing the physical act to finally open my eyes to the truth.
Now, whenever I think about it all, the subtle signs were there. Flipping his phone facedown, defending her anytime someone said something about her, always running when she needed her "friend", ignoring the way everyone tried to warn him. They were all right in front of my face and I completely overlooked them.
Why? Why the hell did I do that? Would it have made a difference if I acknowledged his cheating the moment it started?
Again.
The moment it started again. Because I acknowledged the signs the first time.
I needed to have hope that Keaton would never jeopardize our relationship. I needed to know that he loved me enough to never betray me like that. Do I still believe that he loves me? I think in his own way. Somewhere inside him, the love we shared with each other for six years still burns.
It just doesn't burn enough.
Not anymore.
And I'll never settle for anything less. I need the person I share a life with to be all-in with me and only me. If I can't have that with anyone, then I'd rather be alone.
Nothing wrong with becoming a cat lady.
Alek's worried eyes follow me around the cake as I complete the closing duties. This isn't unusual. A few times a week he's parked at a table with his laptop as he waits for me to get off and then he'll take me home. The nights he's not here, Amelia is. They've refused to leave me on my own.
