How can I fly away from him when he is the one that clipped my wings?
Girl meets boy.
Boy and girl become childhood friends.
Girl and boy fall in love.
Boy cheats on girl in last year of college and breaks her heart.
It's the same tragic story that'...
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Six Months Ago
My leg bounces up and down under the booth and my fingers play a steady staccato on the tabletop as my eyes bounce between the clock above the counter and the door.
I pause the beat to pull the collar of my t-shirt away from the skin at my neck.
Fuck, it's hot in here.
Faster and faster, the rhythm of my fingers sings in tune with the quick pumping of my heart. A bead of sweat rolls down my temple, a cool glide on my skin, as the air around me grows denser.
What if she changed her mind? What if she realized it was still too much to face me? What if something happened to them on the way here? Anything can happen to anyone at any time.
My breathing becomes more shallow.
What if th-
The tinkling of the bell above the door cuts off my erratic and irrational thoughts. As soon as Charlie steps through the door, my body becomes a live wire. Currents of electricity run through me when her icy eyes meet mine. Little zaps against my skin, reminding me of what it's like anytime Charlie lays those beautiful frosty eyes on mine. Only now, they're more painful, scorching my flesh in punishment for the pain and humiliations I dealt the goddess in front of me.
For a few very short seconds, I get a glimpse behind the wall she's forged to keep me out, and the emotions I see in them slice through my skin.
Pain.
Sorrow.
Nostalgia.
Anger.
Hate.
And, shockingly, love.
They burrow deep into my soul, ensuring I don't forget what I so carelessly broke.
As if I could.
As if I would.
Forgetting I'm the reason behind those emotions means not holding myself accountable, and that's something I refuse to do. Charlie deserves more than that from me, even if she chooses to exit my life permanently.
I open myself up momentarily so I can give her some back in return.
Remorse.
Sorrow.
Regret.
Pain.
Love.
I don't hide any of it. Even the ones I don't believe I have a right to feel. Lionel says that's my guilt talking because I'm allowed to feel pain over my selfish chooses because they hurt someone I love deeply and I can feel sorrow at the disintegration of such a long relationship with someone I once thought I was going to grow old with because of the choices I made.
