How can I fly away from him when he is the one that clipped my wings?
Girl meets boy.
Boy and girl become childhood friends.
Girl and boy fall in love.
Boy cheats on girl in last year of college and breaks her heart.
It's the same tragic story that'...
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Ten Months Ago
Healing has been my main priority these last two months. I was tired of being the girl who cried in the fucking bathtub and refused to allow myself to sink that far again.
There are days when it's harder to see the light. Days where my anger and pain consume me. It's those days that I take my therapist's advice and find a way to release my emotions.
Normally, I pour them into my journal. My well-worn notebook is basically one big letter to Keaton. Rebecca, my therapist, says I can eventually choose to give it to him or I can burn it and allow the wind to carry the ashes away, taking all the negative emotions with them.
When that doesn't work, Amelia will take me to a rage room so I can smash some shit. Sometimes I imagine it's Keaton's face when I swing the bat and others it's her face I see. Sometimes Amelia tapes pictures of them on objects throughout the room. Hide and seek, adulterous rage style, she says. My most vicious swings are always on the ones she photo manipulates together.
While it hurts, strangely, it also helps.
Releasing my rage this way also protects me from seeing the inside of a jail cell. Orange is definitely not my color.
Working is another thing that keeps my mind busy. I've been putting in applications at places that will let me use my business degree, but until I hear from some, I've decided to stay where I'm at. Right now, with the time I spend here, Grinders is my second home. Ever since graduation two weeks ago, the coffee shop has been so busy that I don't have to think or dwell on the betrayal that's taken over my life.
Smiling, I pass the customer their coffee and wish them a great day before moving on to the next order.
Graduation was bittersweet. It was something I was always supposed to attend with Amelia and Keaton at my side. That was our plan from the moment we decided we were going to go to college. Then we were all going to go into business together. Just like everything else, though, those plans were destroyed the moment Keaton cheated on me.
As much as I want to hate him for what he did, I can't find it in me to do so. That's not to say I like him very much right now. Most days, I wish I could hate him because, for the first month, the pool house scene followed me into my sleep. It's eased from every night to once, maybe twice a week.
Maybe it's because I know Keaton has been working on himself. I've not talked to him since the day he told me about his results, but I know what's going on with him. I received the first letter from him two weeks after his first counseling session. It took me a few days to gather the courage to read it, but curiosity got the best of me and after making Amelia grab me a bottle of whiskey, I sat in the bathroom and read it.
"Have a good day," I murmur to a customer, handing them their coffee and muffin before letting my mind wander to his first letter again.
