Vienna {H.S}

Chapter 9

Was it a girl or a boy?

What was his or her name?

What was his or her favorite food?

What did they do when they were bored? What did they look like? When was their birthday? Did they have any birthmarks? Did they enjoy books? Did they love cats or dogs?

I would never know.

I had no way to find out because I would never see them. Emelia had deleted her phone number, I could not reach her. It was as if she knew what was going on.

And maybe she did.

It still contradicted her apparent need for revenge. My uncle was still alive and well, wasn't he?

After I was hit with the news like a bucket of cold water, I had left my uncle's office in a hurry, but even then my legs did not seem to be working properly. I had to splash water on my face several times before I got into my car and forced myself drive to the only place I truly called home. Where Vienna was.

She called me earlier and told me she had gotten a ride again from the same mysterious person. Then asked me how to end the call. I would have laughed, but I cannot seem to remember how to.

After thirty minutes of circling the town aimlessly, I slapped myself across the face a couple of times, got back to actual driving, and within a few minutes parked outside my house.

It was 5 p.m now, I can't understand how time seemed to pass so quickly. How did I manage to become a father all those years ago? It was different from adopting a beautiful, helpless girl and giving her everything than actually fathering a child who would be a mere stranger to you forever. It felt unfair.

Shakily, I twisted the keys into the doorknob and pushed it open in the process. I walked in, inhaling a much-needed deep breath.

I need to calm down.

But how could I do that when I suddenly knew nothing about the world?

As if answering my thoughts, I slowly walked over to the kitchen table which contained something that immediately caught my attention. Something that could be an answer to all my solutions. Something that otherwise may seem preposterous and silly and irresponsible, but seemed like my savior in the light of all these problems which piled on top of each other.

A knife.

I held the cold metal in my hand, flicking it over slightly as I ran my thumb along it's sharp exterior. I blinked in confusion as I saw blood draw from my delicate skin.

I did not even feel that. I was.. Numb.

I breathed in sharply as I brought it to a dangerous point in my wrists, where blood was pumping through my ripe veins. I closed my eyes.

I need a sign.

"Surprise!" I heard a high pitched voice squeal enthusiastically, and all the lights suddenly turned on, lighting up the whole house. Both literally and metaphorically. Vienna emerged from whatever her hiding spot was, holding a big red velvet cake with 'sorry' written messily with white icing on the top.

I wanted to end my life right then and there.

Here she was, trying to fix things with me and here I was, trying to ultimately give up.

Her wide grin slowly dissolved as her eyes landed on my bloody thumb, then on the knife in my hand. Shit.

I was ready for her to yell at me, demand an answer as to why I would do that to myself, as to how I could bear to leave her alone. Give up on me, like everyone else. Then run away, knowing that I was broken beyond repair, like she did before. But I was wrong.