12 • iced coffee

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Lazing around with the Haitani's usually never gets boring. They bicker and argue over the smallest most mundane things, amusing you with their weird thoughts in the process. Or they take you out to cure your boredom. Doesn't matter what you three do, there's always something exciting going on even if you all just lie around and do absolutely nothing.

As the cold months pass Rindou took you out more. Dates, fancy breakfast, driving around Tokyo maybe even just a quick walk to the convenient store are all moments of tranquillity that you share with the blond.

Over the months, dreams of the future have been plaguing your mind, ever changing and never showing you the same scenario twice. You've seen moments of you and the Haitani's or just you alone. Sadly those that get stuck in your head are usually the ones where you see your end. It's a burden that Rindou took notice of, even if he only sees your dreams as recurring nightmares that you suffer from.

He never asks about them, simply comforting you when needed and you're grateful for that. There's just no way you can tell him that your dreams are from the future and you see yourself dying from being by his side. You couldn't possibly do that to him. You've carried this burden all your life already, you'll manage to do it a couple more years before your seemingly inevitable death comes for you.

There is just one thing you want to tell the brothers, a last resort to prevent you from ending up in misery.

• ~ ~ ~ •

"Rindou I need to tell you something." You're out of the house, walking through the streets after shopping for groceries when you find the courage to confront Rindou about your fears.

Nervous and conflicted the blond looks at you, probably already wondering why your tone is so serious. "What is it?" You see him gulp. "Rin I'm. . .scared." Perplexed the blond stops on his tracks, letting the shopping bags fall from his hands. You stop to turn your body towards him, avoiding his eyes as best as possible.

"Is somebody bothering you?"

You shake your head, frowning as thoughts of the future pass through your memory. "I'm scared of the future." Admitting that to Rindou felt forbidden, almost like you're not supposed to get other people involved.

"I'm scared that you and Ran end up doing something sketchy." He tries to cut you off but you shake your head before quickly continuing your rant.

"I'm scared that you will stop loving me and I'm scared that I'll end up being miserable by your side. I don't want you to fall down a hole I can't help you come up from. I don't want you to get involved with stupid gangs and all that sketchy shit. I want you and me to live happy and have a nice house, get a dog or something, have Ran sleep over every now and then."

You take a deep breath. Eyes watering and voice trembling you look up at Rindou. And he looks down at you with an equal amount of pain in his eyes.

"I don't want to die!"

Immediately after those words leave your lips Rindou has you tightly pressed into his jacket, eyes securely around you and head dipped into your shoulder. "Don't say that." His voice is quiet, shaky and he sounds vulnerable. "Please don't say that." He wraps his arms tighter around you and his closeness make your tears fall faster. You hear small sniffles coming from Rindou so you gently wrap your arms around him as well. He cries into your shoulder the same way you do into his, holding you close the way you do. He's afraid of losing you just like you are.

"I'm sorry." You barely get those words out with the way your voice trembles but Rindou understands your mumbling. He shakes his head and you feel his hair brushing against your left cheek, catching some of your tears. "I'm sorry." You repeat them over and over again, chanting it in hopes of lessening his pain while ignoring your own.

You've done this all your life. . .

"I should be the one to say sorry."

. . .you can do this a couple more years.

"I made you feel unsafe while I should make you feel secure. I'm sorry Sunny."

Why does it feel so painful hearing someone put you first instead? Why are your tears getting more when hiding your feelings isn't needed?

"Sunny, I promise. I will love you forever. I will get us a stable life so we can have our little home where Ran stays over every now and then. And I promise not to fall, not to bring you down with me and I promise to keep you safe. I won't get into sketchy shit, I'll tell Ran to do the same. I'll make sure you will never feel like this with us again."

Though his words mean good, and he's actually means what he's saying, it hurts.

Your heart is hurting from his words and you can't tell why. It could be from many things, some of which you don't even want to think about, but the possibility is there and it's high.

Are you just not meant to live that long?

You shake your head, quickly, to get rid of more negative thoughts. Instead you hug Rindou tighter, hiding your face in his jacket while he slowly rakes his fingers through your hair, calming you down.

You stay like that a little longer, coming down enough in Rindou's arms to pull away. Upon seeing your tear stained face Rindou frowns. He uses his sleeves to wipe away the rest of the wetness before holding your face in his hands.

"I love you. That will never change. I've never been in love with anybody until you. You're it. You're endgame. You're the only one I need."

You smile at his words, reaching up to place one of your hands over his "What about Ran?" Rindou chuckles "I guess he too. But you're number one." It makes you smile. And while being somebody's number one still feels wrong in your head, it's feels amazing in your heart. A warm and comforting feeling spreading through your body.

"I love you too Rin. You're the only one I have."

With a small chuckle he smiles down at you "And Ran?" Him copying your words brings a laugh from within you and you decide to copy his words as well "I guess he too. But Ran is family, you're my all." He smiles back at you.

He dips down, eyes closed and cheeks red. And his lips perfectly land on yours, kissing the sorrow away, clearing your mind of evil, exhausting nightmares.

For now.

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