You'll Never Know (AU) || LT & JT (editing)

Awkward?

Chapter 9

|Louis|

I wasn't able to sleep after that. It wasn't easy to handle. I wanted to just feel numb but it was no use. It was no fucking use! I hated Liam for making a move, I hated Jade for liking him but what I hated most was myself for loving her. For actually loving her when I knew that from the very beginning I had no chance.

"Hey Lou, you can always talk to us. You don't have to keep it all in." Jesy said as she sat beside me in the bleachers on our free period.

"I know how it feels to be at your side. The feeling of not being able to do anything." Jesy adds

"How can I stop myself from loving her Jes? " I asked

"You can't Lou. There is no stopping, but there is such a thing as letting go." Jesy responded

"But what if I don't want to let go? What if I still want her in my life Jes?"I asked again

"Then you've got to be strong Lou. You've got to try your best to be happy for her because that's all you can do from this point." Jesy said as she sighed

"To be honest Lou, I was rooting for you. I really thought you two would end up finding your way towards each other." Jesy added

"Maybe we really do fit as best friends."I told Jesy with a weak smile

"Hey can we keep this between us? Because if Zayn found out he'd just lecture me. I just really want what's best for Jade and I know Liam is the best for her. But I feel like I need to distance myself from her to find my inner peace again when I'm around her."I admitted

"If that is what you think you need Lou, I'd be the most supportive friend. And yeah. I promise, its just between us."Jesy said as she hugged me

"I better go. Niall is waiting for me at the Library. You sure you're going to be okay here?"Jesy asked and I nodded.

I watched Jesy walk towards the building, I knew it was foolish for me to believe that I can ignore Jade, but I had to. It will never be easy but I have to try, I want to be her best friend who can smile again without any hesitation, I want to be the Louis she knew back then, not this Louis who had a mask of happiness.

"You don't have to act happy. But you know what you can do?" a girls voice asked. I turned my head and saw that it was Leigh-Anne watching Harry and Cher at the field.

"It's rubbish to think you can act happy in front of them. But you can always be honest with her, and tell her that you love her. It will be easiest way to cope, when finally tell her, all the ignoring will make sense. Cause if you don't she'll just keep on bothering you." Leigh-Anne added with her eyes still fixed on them.

"Did you tell him?"I asked

"Nope and it kills me inside seeing her make him happy." she admitted

"But hey, you don't have to be in my shoes." Leigh-Anne added with a weak smile

"If I tell, you tell him. We've both got to be strong Leigh. I know how you look at him. And I know how hard it is to be a by stander." I told her

"Fine, I'll do it. At the Homecoming Dance." she responded as she looked at her hands animatedly playing with her skirt.

"Me too. But let's not lean on each other for the rebound okay? Things don't work that way."I then said making her laugh

"You are full of yourself! I love Harry okay and if he breaks my heart, I won't go and throw myself at the first guy I see. I move on and be back tp the old cheerful bitchy Leigh-Anne you all know and envy." she told me as she stood up and left, smiling at me cheekily as she did.