𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒍 //𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒚 𝑲𝒊𝒅𝒔 𝑭𝑭//

~𝟳~

It had started happening more frequently that I woke myself up with my nightmares; my usual crying replaced with ear-piercing screams, but other than that, it was going relatively well. I was able to hide my feelings when I was around the boys, not that I had much of a choice. I could pick up that they were unsure about the sudden change in my demeanour, but I was sure they would be too afraid to ask questions again. After a while, it seemed to me they adjusted. All but one. Lee Know kept giving me suspicious glances, but I just brushed it off. My emotions were finally tame enough to push down, and I wasn't losing that progress again.

"Chan Hyung, does Ava seem strange to you lately?" I heard him ask one morning, probably not knowing I could hear him.

"She seems fine to me," Chan answered.

"Don't you remember how out of it she was just a week ago? Or am I the only one who hasn't fallen for her mask?"

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't make me look like I don't care. I have noticed, but unlike you, I know she can handle it. She is the only one who can put a stop to this, so just give her time, and when she needs it, we'll be there."

"I know that. I'm just afraid that when the time comes, she'll break so much that we can't help her put herself back together again"

As I listened to the conversation, Chan's words really stuck with me. And then I heard what Lee Know said, and I realized; were they really that concerned for my mental health? Were they really going to help me if, or when, I broke?

"You guys do realize I can hear you, right?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

They both looked at me with shock written all over their features, but they composed themselves.

"Of course, we know. That was the point. We're just concerned for-"

"With all due respect, I can handle myself. I've been doing it ever since he-"

I stopped myself. Just as I was about to continue, the alarm sounded out through the house, luckily not as loud as the previous time. We all rushed to the end of the hallway, cramming ourselves through the door and into the operations room. We all took our places, and I made sure not to stand near Chan or Lee Know.

"Glad to see you could all make it. I have another mission for you. As you all know, there are multiple gangs we are after, but I am guessing you all know who the most notorious is. We have recently gotten information on where they are stashing their products. So, I want you all to go out, and round up as many of the gang as possible. This time I am allowing you to use guns when threatened but use it wisely. Come back safe."

At that the screen went black again.

"Okay, let's go," I said, making Felix, who was next to me, grab my arm.

"Are you sure you're ready? I'm sure you can sit out if-"

"I'm fine, I promise. Let's just get going."

The boys tried to stop me, but I just pushed through them. I was going to show them that I could handle it. I slid down the pole, got dressed and grabbed my service weapon, putting it in its holster. I felt a tap on my shoulder and found Changbin behind me.

"I just wanted to tell you that I want you to keep a level head out there. No matter what happens."

I smiled at him, feeling my heart swell. Either he trusted me enough to leave me be, or he knew he couldn't stop me. Then I heard Chan signal that we could head out.

...

Blood rushed through my veins as I watched. And waited. Hyunjin was canvasing the building from afar so we could get an idea of how many people we were dealing with. So, we waited. My body was hyper-aware of the other presences around me. Every muscle was tense as we waited for the all-clear. Hyunjin adjusted slightly and sighed.