𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒍 //𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒚 𝑲𝒊𝒅𝒔 𝑭𝑭//

~𝟴𝟬~

(Third person, Lee Know's perspective)

Lee Know had made himself comfortable on the floor in front of his bed, wanting to make sure that he was there if Ava had any nightmares. She slept for a long while, the sky turning orange and red outside the window before darkening. That's when the first wave of nightmares hit.

At first, he had no idea that Ava was having a nightmare. He only noticed once she started shifting in her sleep, the crease between her brows deepening. She started whimpering as well, freaking him out even more. He reached a hand out towards her shoulder but stopped himself before he touched her. He had no idea how she would react. 

His touch would usually calm her, but after everything that happened, he had no inkling of how she would react to his touch in her sleep. So he just got on his haunches next to the bed, hoping and praying that the nightmare would pass. He had some hope in him when she stopped shifting around, but then she started screaming. One blood-chilling yell after another.

His head was fighting his heart. He wanted so badly to just comfort her, but he knew that it would have a very bad outcome if he did. Against his better judgement, he put his hand on Ava's shoulder. But he regretted it the moment he did so. 

As soon as his fingers made contact with Ava's skin, her eyes shot wide open and she came upright in bed, yanking away from him and curling in on herself, wrapping her arms around her legs and rocking back and forth. She was whimpering and muttering incoherent words, but Lee Know could just barely make out the words "hurt" and "afraid". Even though he knew not to, he put his hand on her shoulder again, but she pulled away, staring up at him with fear in her eyes. The fear quickly turned to anguish, her eyes turning to glass as tears brimmed them. 

She started sobbing, curling in on herself again. Lee Know wanted to comfort her, so much so that his chest physically ached. But he knew it wasn't what she needed in that moment. It would only make things worse. His heart was ripped in two as he stepped out of the room, looking over his shoulder at Ava once more before closing the door behind him. He felt like he was abandoning her again, just like he had that morning.

Thankfully, just as he closed the door, Chan came running up to him, stopping abruptly when he saw Lee Know closing the door. Chan looked at him questioningly, but when he saw Lee Know's facial expression, he quickly realised what was going on. So he squeezed past Lee Know, slowly opening the door. 

Lee Know couldn't see him, but he could definitely hear him. He heard as Chan asked Ava if he could come in. He heard him step onto the hardwood floor of the room. He heard the door click shut behind him. And he heard his own heart shatter in his chest.

He knew that it shouldn't have bothered him as much as it did. But even with every fibre in his body working together, he couldn't shake the ache in his chest. He couldn't support the woman he loved so much, but his Hyung could. His Hyung gave her something that even he, her boyfriend, couldn't. 

Then it occurred to him that Damian had been her boyfriend before he did those gut-wrenching things to her. And he realised that maybe she wasn't pulling away from him because she didn't want his support. Maybe she was pulling away from him because of their relationship and because she was afraid he might do the same things to her that Damian did. And that thought just wrecked him even further.

He forced his feet to move, and they carried him straight outside, into the woods surrounding the dorms. He walked until his feet ached and his breath came in short gasps. Then he leaned against a tree and dropped his head back, running his hands down his face. He knew that Ava was in pain. He knew he had no idea what she was going through. 

He knew deep down that it wasn't his fault and that if she wanted him there he would be supporting her through probably the toughest time of her life. But the shard of guilt in his heart was twisting. And no matter how hard he tried; he could not convince himself that it wasn't his fault.