𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒍 //𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒚 𝑲𝒊𝒅𝒔 𝑭𝑭//

~𝟳𝟳~

TW: Graphic violence, blood

Skip this chapter if you are easily triggered.

The dorms were a mass of ruckus and the boys scrambling around, trying to get their bearings before the mission. I tried to help them as best I could, but I felt like I was just in the way. So I focused on getting my own precautions ready. I had decided to keep my service weapon with me at all times, strapped to my waist to ensure it was easily accessible. I also set my comms to speed dial Lee Know with the press of a button.

When I went back downstairs, the boys had seemed to calm down, all of them standing in the living room, huge bags of equipment stacked around their feet. They were all either looking at papers or doing something on their comms. When I walked down the stairs, they all looked up at me. 

The tension in the room was palpable. The worry in their eyes was like a silent flare, an ever-present reminder of what could happen. The first one to approach me was Chan. His eyes dropped to the weapon strapped to my waist, and I saw him nod slightly. Then he gently took my wrist, checking something on my comm. He gave another small nod before dropping my wrist and looking at me.

"Everything is going to be okay. You're a well-trained agent and I'm sure you'll be able to handle anything thrown your way. And we're just a button's press away. So don't hesitate to let us know if something happens."

I noticed his use of the word "if". He was trying to convince me, and I suspect himself as well, that nothing was going to happen, but I knew he was lying. And I knew he knew that as well. It was only a matter of time before something would happen.

I wrapped Chan in a hug, trying to force the bile rising in my throat down. The rest of the boys joined the hug, engulfing me in safe warmth. We stood there for a long while before the boys pulled away, and Lee Know was standing in front of me. He seemed like he had made peace with the mission they had to go on. He seemed calm. He spread his arms and I walked into his embrace, clinging to him to try and avoid the inevitable. 

That was when I noticed how stressed he really was. His entire body was trembling, and his fingers pressed into my skin with an urgency I hadn't felt in his touch ever before. He pressed a long kiss to my hairline, and I held onto him tighter.

He pulled slightly away before connecting our lips in a heated kiss. And with that simple touch of his lips on mine, my floodgates opened, tears streaming over my cheeks. But it was no longer in fear of losing my own life. It was in fear of Lee Know losing his. 

I had no idea where they were going or what they were going to do. I didn't even know who they were going to work with. For all I knew, they could be heading off into a suicide mission, and I wouldn't even know until the agents came to inform me of their deaths.

So as the tears kept streaming over my cheeks, I pulled Lee Know closer, I held onto him tighter, I kissed him longer and with more emotion that I ever had. I flooded all the emotions I was feeling into the kiss, and when we pulled away, I could see tears glinting in Lee Know's eyes as well. He gently brushed the tears off my cheeks, a sad smile spreading on his lips. He leaned down slightly to be eyelevel with me.

"Please, promise me you'll still be here when we get back. Promise me you'll still be alive."

"You know I can't promise tha-"

"I know, but just entertain me this tiny fantasy... Please."

"I... I promise. But then you have to promise me you'll come back alive and breathing, not in a body bag or hacked into pieces or-"

My voice broke, cutting off my sentence. Lee Know still managed to understand me, though, gently brushing along my cheekbone.

"I promise."