𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒍 //𝑺𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒚 𝑲𝒊𝒅𝒔 𝑭𝑭//

~𝟯𝟰~

I got the feeling Chan didn't sleep much that night or the following night. I would wake up from nightmares, and I would hear noises coming from down the hall. After one particular nightmare, I got up out of bed and followed the noises to the operations room. He sat there; hands tangled in his short ginger hair. When he looked at me, he had dark circles under his eyes. His arms and hands were more veiny than usual, probably from clenching his fists. He had a bunch of papers spread out in front of him. Maps and textbooks from the academy and training. I had sat down next to him, giving him a smile.

"You should get some sleep. I don't want you getting hurt on the mission because you're tired."

He nodded, dropping his head into his hands. I placed a hand on his back, stroking softly. His muscles seemed tense underneath the skin.

"Come on, I'll make you some tea. That always calms me down."

I got up and heard him follow. We got downstairs and I put on the kettle. He ran a hand down his face before brushing his messy bangs out of his eyes. After I finished the tea, we sat at the kitchen island in comfortable silence.

"You know, I always thought our team was complete. I knew something was missing, but I just thought it was because we weren't together for very long at the time. But then we met you. And I just knew, you were what was missing. We needed you just as much as you needed us. You should see how happy the boys get when they can make you laugh, or how they light up when you walk into the room. You've really become part of our family. And I really appreciate you for that."

"Oh, Chan. I don't know what to say. You guys... it's been hard for me to get comfortable around men for the past three years. Especially men close to my age. But with you guys... it was just so easy. And I know I haven't told you all everything yet. But I really am more comfortable with you all then I have been around any other guys, probably ever. And that means so much to me."

He smiled at me before downing the last sip of his tea and bringing me into a hug.

"I still remember the first hug you gave me. I was so nervous. I was afraid I was overstepping some kind of boundary. But now. It just feels so natural," he said.

His voice vibrated against my cheek that was pressed against his shoulder. We pulled away, and he insisted on escorting me to my room again. He wouldn't leave until I was safely tucked under the covers. I made him promise to get some sleep, but I wasn't sure it would work. I got the feeling he didn't sleep much even on normal days. When he walked out of my room, I kept my eyes open until I heard his door open and close. Then I slipped into sleep.

...

The next morning we got a message that Han was being discharged. The house buzzed with excitement. We all crammed into a car and went to fetch him. When we got to his room, they had just helped him into a wheelchair, his clothes and other things packed into a bag on the bed. I noticed a girl sitting on the bed next to Han's, and I waved at her. She waved back and gave me a small smile. I reached out to take the handle of Han's wheelchair but took hold of someone's else hand instead. It was Hyunjin. He must have reached at the same time I did, I thought. We shared a look before pulling our hands away, breaking our gaze. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"You go ahead, Ava. You can take him."

I said a soft thank you before taking the wheelchair. Just as I started pushing, Han stopped me.

"I just want to say goodbye to the girl if that's okay."

"Sure," I said, pushing the wheelchair around the bed to her. She got up from under the covers and gave him a hug, lingering a moment. When she pulled away, the both of them looked almost sad.