𝘽𝘼𝘿 𝘿𝙀𝙎𝙄𝙍𝙀 aron Hotchner x Reader]

chapter seventeen

Song

Don't Blame Me by Taylor Swift

"Don't blame me, love made me crazy
If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right
Lord, save me, my drug is my baby
I'll be usin' for the rest of my life"

You don't remember much about the days after that; it is like your memories are blurred, covered in a gray and dense fog.

You woke up alone and confused in the living room. Emily was at your side, and you didn't understand what was happening until she told you Hotch asked her to pick you up. He had waited patiently until she arrived, then immediately called a cab for himself; the weather was better, unlike you. The memories from the night before began to appear in your mind, and they have been constantly haunting you since then.

After that, the minutes became hours, and the days felt heavier than ever. You have feel trapped in long routines and constant heartache.

Hotch hasn't been around too much; you see him at work, sometimes, but he doesn't even look in your direction.

And you understand, you really do.

But knowing doesn't mean it gets easier.

Because of that, you have been living the last few weeks in automatic mode, decision after decision, mistake after mistake.

And, because of that, you can't really recall the events that led you to this. You close your eyes, trying to comprehend, like analyzing every scene and every moment would save you from your fate.

There is a gun pointed right at your face, and you're sure the man holding it won't even hesitate to press the trigger if he doesn't get what he wants.

Then, it comes to you. An idea. The reason you were here, in this position. It started the night before. Friday night. At the Hotel. Emily had just come home with a bunch of fried food, and you couldn't be more happy about it.

I

Friday

21:30pm

"So, I couldn't really decide between Japanese or Chinese," she says, getting inside the hotel room. "So I bought them both"

Smiling, you make space for the food on the table. "Yes, God, I'm starving"

The past few weeks you have become closer, not only because you live together, but because you understand each other in terms you wish you wouldn't. Your problems are somehow similar, and the way to face them too. She doesn't like to speak about it, and you're just as fine ignoring all of your emotions and pretending everything is okay.