Falling for Em

The italian place (E)

POV Emma

This field trip is actually going great. The artwork is amazing. I walk around and taking my time to admire every single piece. The other students are already taking a lunch break. I don't think they're coming back in for the afternoon. I'm not hungry, I want to spent every single second in this place studying this masterpieces.

I am standing in front of this big canvas hanging alone at a giant wall. It is the only work on this wall and all spots are pointing towards it, giving it a great glow. I take a step back and lower myself to the ground. I keep staring at it. It is bright, not from the lights but the usage of colors. Mainly whites and beiges. Now and then a bright colored detail pops out. You can't really define an obvious shape, but I think it are two bodies pushed against one other, discovering each other. It is beautiful. I let the art sink in when I suddenly feel a knee leaning against m back.

I look up. Great. Monica. "Miss green" leaves my lips. "Why aren't you outside?" "I'm not hungry and wanted to spend more time in here." She looks a bit confused at me. I think she didn't expect me to care about the art. "Are you kidding me Emma?" "No, miss green, I am not. I really like this artwork"

"Emma, drop the Miss green act." She states "We are on a school field trip, what do you want me to call you?" She sighs . "I know we are, but we are way past the whole teacher student relationship" "you weren't my teacher back then, you were a teacher, but not mine." "And I am still not your teacher this year..." "that's right, but today you are one of the escorting teachers, so for today you are" "you've always been a smart ass" "just stating the facts Mon."

"Em,  I've heard you're barely passing your classes. Why did you even go back to school?" "I've promised my mom to get my degree. So that's what I am about to do" she looks at me. "You've changed" "maybe..."  she gets down next to me  "Setting next to me because miss Brown isn't here?" She shakes her head and exhales heavily.

"why are you acting up so much?" "What do you mean?" "Yeah, you're acting al jealous about miss brown right now and I've heard stories about you, not attending school for over two years and..." I cut her off "yeah because you were literally throwing yourself at her feet... you want to know what happened?" She nods

I sigh, take a deep breath. "you know when we were having a difficult time?" She nods. "My mom had just been diagnosed with cancer. She was palliative. At first she tried to fight but near the end, we stopped all treatments and I and William took care of her." It's difficult to talk about, my hands are getting sweaty and my knees are turning weak. "Why did you never tell me?" I look at her. Her eyes are watering. "I didn't want to bother you with it, mon. You had your own problems"

"You had to tell me, I would have supported you. I'd have helped you." "I know... I made mistakes. You were acting so jealous and I didn't want you to carry my problems so I took advantage of the situation..." "So, who was Sylvie then?" "My mom's nurse, we didn't date at all. The came over now and then to help out in the beginning. Until we stopped treatment" "you let me believe you were cheating on me so we would break up? Just because you didn't want me around?" I nod. She sighs. "I am sorry. At that time it seemed the best option" I tell Monica everything about William, my mom and the struggles.

"Why didn't you tell anyone at school about your mom?" "The same reason I didn't tell you I guess? I don't know. I wanted to spare everyone" "how long..?" "About 2 years, she died and I applied for school again" "I didn't... I am sorry" "you don't have to be sorry miss green" she smiles "you know, you can still call me Mon"

"Yeah, i don't think that's a great idea at school. They may start to ask questions and our relationship wasn't exactly legal..." "you're right, but you can still talk to me. I am so sorry." "For what?" "For leaving you, for breaking up without ever talking to you, I've hated you so much without any reason. I believed all the fucked up stories about you." She sighs. If they only knew what you had to endure.

I take her hand. "Please don't tell them, I just want to graduate, I don't need anyone to feel pitiful or to give me some slack. I want to do this on my own and preferably as anonymous as possible"

"You Know, you are famous among the teachers. They all think you are this bad ass girl who doesn't give a fuck about school." I smile "I know" "why don't you set it straight?" "I don't do straight" I wink at her and she gives me a smile

"You are something else Em. I've never seen you like this" "I've changed, I try to be a better person now. I've been low, rock bottom low. But I got through it with the help of Will." "Like self harm?" "Not in the literal meaning of the word, but I was going the wrong direction. Skipping school, drinking, drugs,..." her eyes widen "you're done with all that shit now, right?" "I am not an addict, if you're wondering. I do drink from time to time but not much and no more hard drugs. Let's keep it at that." She points at the lighter hanging out of my pocket. "you smoke?" "Yeah, something recent... something I'll not be able to quit so easily I am afraid"

"I think the whole bad girl vibe suits you, your style is changed as well. I really like it. Just be careful. You have the sweetest soul and are a bright and strong young girl. Keep it that way. Try to show the inner you sometimes. It may change the way people think about you." "Thanks, but I am good. I don't want to make friends. I just want to get to the end of the year" "think about it" she gets up.

"Please keep this between us, our past, my past" she nods understanding. I turn my eyes to the art again. 

"You've always been the creative type, I can see you change around art, it makes you smile and relax. Maybe you should do something with that... Anyway, we leave in 20 minutes so don't miss the bus" she leaves. I keep staring at the artwork.

Sitting in the back of the bus, listening to some music. Monica keeps looking over now and then. I think she's still processing our conversation. She looks sad and meditating.

We arrive at school. Tutoring time. Monica gets of first and goes inside. I get off last. Another teacher checks the empty bus for lost items. I can see miss Brown standing in front of her window.

I get an instant smile and walk over to the school. Arriving at her classroom I hear her being on a call.  "Hi babe, what's up?.. I am sorry, I just forgot to tell you" I hear her say. Babe? Who's she talking to? I thought she was single? Is she lying to us? To me? 

"I can't talk right now honey, a student of mine is entering any minute now for a tutoring session... babe,  I love you, but I really need to go. I'll call you tonight ok?" She continues . Love? Honey? Who am I kidding... she doesn't want to waste time with me. I quickly turn around and run out. I look back and see Monica walking over to Miss browns classroom. Miss brown comes out and looks my way but I can't face her right now so I keep walking.

Am i seeing things that aren't real? Am I fooling myself? I am so confused. I lean against the school building and get a smoke while miss brown is walking out next to Monica. They get in Monica's car and drive off. I am flabbergasted. Are they dating? Monica didn't react when I called her out. Maybe they are.

They take off and I do to, by foot. I walk over to my bench in the small park and lay down staring at the sky. After an hour or two I start walking again. I call Luca to pick me up and drop me at wills, I don't feel like walking or being alone right now. I am going the direction where Luca is coming from.

I pass the well known Italian restaurant in our neighborhood. Well well, look at that. Miss brown and Miss green are having diner... it looks like they're having fun. Luca pulls over and as I get in, miss browns eyes meet mine. I don't wait, I don't react. I open the car door get in and we leave. "Was that Mon?" She asks. "Yeah..." "I thought she was leaving?" "Yeah, she left to my school" I respond. "You're kidding?" "No, we had a great talk today tho. No hard feelings anymore. How are you dealing with your breakup?" "It's ok. We did have a thing after you two ended. But it's not like we were really in love. I think she never really stopped loving you. We had a great time but we broke up as friends. No hard feelings anymore? So you told her the truth about your mom and Sylvie?" I nod. "It will give her peace"  We arrive at Williams and go over to my room.  Luca stays over , we watch some movies , eat junk food and have a blast.