A Court of Death || ACOTAR

2

A year now had gone by since Astryn died and came back to life. For the most part, everyone avoided ever talking about the fact that she had died. It was even easier to avoid since her nightly visits with Death had ceased months ago. She had grown weary from never really resting, and Death had found a way to give her real sleep.

She sometimes thought about visiting him, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She had grown to think of Death as a friend, but she knew Azriel couldn't really rest when her body was unconscious beside his and her soul had gone off to another realm—to a realm that was ruled by a king who openly admitted that he wanted her. She knew Death wouldn't ever keep her against her will, that he truly did care about her happiness. But it felt wrong to go see him knowing how it weighed on Azriel.

Azriel trusted her, and when she had insisted Death was her friend, he did his best to accept that. But the mate bond pulled and pulled at his heart the more time she spent a realm away, where he couldn't communicate with her or protect her from danger and had to just hope she could protect herself or that a king who claimed he loved her would keep her safe.

For the sake of not dealing with that bit of death in Astryn, for the sake of not thinking about the king of a realm who wanted her, no one spoke of when Astryn died or of her now ended visits to Death. It was something that was easier for everyone to just avoid.

Astryn had spent this past year training—physically with Cassian, her magic with Rhys. She was more powerful than her brother. That was another thing they never talked about, but at least that was for her own comfort. She didn't want to confront that fact, and was more than happy to let it be forgotten—or at least unacknowledged.

Right now, power was a distant thought. She supposed that was what she liked so much about these games they played. She handed the power over to them—to her mate and her friend.

She was naked as she waited on her knees to be given some instruction from either of the still fully clothed males standing over her. Azriel petted her head idly, and Cassian watched. It was their game too, she mused. Azriel's, mostly. Cassian wanted her, she wanted him, and Azriel was the one who gave permission for them to have each other. He discussed everything beforehand, let them know his ideas and plans, but once it all started, he feigned total control. She enjoyed it thoroughly, even if she sometimes ended up a sobbing mess from the pleasure of it by the time they were done.

Cassian didn't mind yielding control, because it meant he got to touch Astryn, got to hear her moan his name in that oh-so sweet voice of hers.

Azriel observed Cassian for a moment before he knelt and pressed a kiss to Astryn's bare shoulder, and then nipped at her earlobe. He whispered something so lowly that Cassian couldn't hear. She blushed, but nodded.

And then a collar made of shadows formed around her neck.

"You're wicked," Cassian muttered, though there was a grin on his face as more shadows became physical bindings on Astryn.

They moved her with ease, guiding her to the bed and restraining her there. They stroked and caressed down her body, leaving her shaking.

"They get a little sad when they're left out," Azriel said by way of explanation, "I have to remind them sometimes that I still have use for them here."

"Az," Astryn gasped from the bed, squirming against the shadows' hold.

Azriel tsk'ed at his mate, low and disapproving.

"You know the rules of this—they get tighter the more you squirm," he reminded her softly, brushing her hair back out of her face, "the rules don't change just because we have company. In fact, I expect you to be on your best behavior. Can you do that for me? Can you show Cassian what a good girl you are?"

"Yes," she gasped out, "yes, please, I wanna be your good girl."

"You always are," he muttered, his eyes warm as he took in every inch of her. "My perfect girl."

He didn't know why it was then that his mind went to that place he refused to ever speak of. She had died. She had died in his arms only a year ago. It hit him sometimes. He'd look at her, and he'd be overwhelmed by that memory. She died. She had been dead. She was here now, with some new thing that wasn't of this world in her. Another thing he refused to speak of. He didn't know what his mate had been given by Death and he didn't want to know.

"Azriel?" Astryn said quietly, pulling him out of his mind.

"I'm fine," he spoke gruffly, and she knew he was lying. "I'm fine."

"Az—" Cassian started, but Azriel leveled him with an ice cold glare.

Astryn had died. His mate had died. A year ago, she was dead in his arms. A year ago to the day, and this is what they were doing on this day. She had died, and they never spoke of it, like it was some forbidden secret they couldn't even whisper about for fear of long-forgotten gods listening in.

Astryn had died. She had been dead in his arms this time last year. Then a king who wanted her heart gave her the gift of life, a king who ruled over the dead cared about her enough to go against his very nature to give her life.

"Red," Astryn broke the tense silence. The shadows released her from their hold, swirling around in concern. Azriel stared at her like she was a ghost. The bond tugged at him, as if to remind himself that those memories were truly just memories.

His mind sometimes tricked him into thinking he could still feel her blood on him.

Cassian left the pair, and Azriel slid into bed with Astryn thinking about how she had died.

"I love you," she told him quietly, gently stroking his hair.

"I love you too," he said back, his voice unsteady as he tried to rid the feeling and image of her as bloody and dead from his mind.

And they didn't talk about it.