A Court of Death || ACOTAR

99

It was Solstice. Solstice and Feyre's birthday.

The Azriel had been dragged out of his and Astryn's room, cheeks sunken in, eyes dull and lifeless, shadows clinging to him more than usual. Cassian came for the first time in a few weeks, a fake smile plastered on his face as he dumped a collection of presents down. He held onto one and slipped away to leave in Astryn's room where she was still unconscious. There were already a few presents hidden away in there. One from Rhys, another from Azriel, and one last one from Feyre. Cassian set his down with the others and lingered in the room for a long few moments, staring at her like he could simply will her into waking up.

"They're all hoping," Cassian mumbled after a quick glance towards the closed door, "Az, Rhys, Feyre, Amren...I think even Nesta is secretly hoping you wake up. I think you're dead. Death said there might not have been enough of your soul left for this to work. I think you're dead, I think your soul was away for too long for you to come back to us, and I think it's cruel to keep you like this."

His eyes drifted towards the gift he had set down with the others.

"There's not even anything in that box. It's just an empty box I wrapped and put your name on. I couldn't think of anything to get for you but it felt wrong to show up without anything because I know they all still think that I think there's a chance of you waking up and I figured...who's going to open it anyway, right? Those boxes are just going to sit there."

Cassian let out a tired, pained laugh and nodded.

"An empty box," he repeated, shaking his head. "Happy Solstice, Ryn."

He left the room and closed the door behind himself. He joined everyone else and could feel Rhys staring at him. Azriel didn't look at him—didn't look at anyone or anything, really. He just sat there, staring off into space like he was somewhere else entirely.

Cassian did his best to fake cheerfulness, wished everyone a happy Solstice, and Feyre a happy birthday. It felt like he was just floating through the night. He didn't want to be there. Azriel didn't want to be there. Rhys wanted to want to be there, but he didn't. He was a little more well put together for Feyre's sake, some degree of real happiness buried beneath the misery they were all feeling. They had skipped the snowball fight. Cassian was a little surprised they weren't skipping Solstice entirely, if he was completely honest. He wondered if it was just for Feyre's sake, because it was her birthday and because it was her first Solstice here.

Whatever the case was, the usual enthusiastic was lacking for obvious reasons.

Azriel hadn't gotten anyone besides Astryn any presents, but no one was surprised by that. He hadn't left Astryn's side for long enough to go shopping. The longest he spent away from her bedside was to bathe, and then he went right back to her. He ate in that room, slept there, spent the majority of his time there. Cassian honestly wasn't sure when he had gotten Astryn a gift.

Azriel slipped away eventually, after presents had been opened. Cassian didn't know what made him follow, but he did. Trailed after him up the stairs, into the bedroom where Astryn was still unconscious. He slipped in before Azriel could shut the door. He closed the door behind himself and stood in front of it.

"What did you get for her?" Cassian asked, nodding towards the gifts.

"A necklace," he mumbled, "my mother's. She gave it to me to give to her centuries ago. I never did." He looked from the small box to another box next to it, the one Cassian had brought. "What did you get her?"

"Nothing," Cassian did not know why he confessed it, "it felt wrong to show up without a gift for her, but she's not here to open anything, so I wrapped an empty box and put her name on it."

Azriel's jaw twitched and his eyes flashed with anger.

"Take the box," he ordered quietly, "take it and get out."

"She's gone, Az," Cassian said, "look at her. Look at her right now and tell me you honestly think she'll wake up. If she was anyone else, you'd have accepted it after the first week. She's not waking up."

Azriel grabbed the empty box and launched it across the room. Cassian moved just in time to avoid it slamming into his face.

"Get out," Azriel repeated.

"She's dead. Her body is still...that's still here, but her soul? She's fucking dead, Azriel. And you're halfway there too."

"Get out."

Cassia shook his head and then grabbed the empty box off of the floor and took it with him. He stormed out of the house entirely. Rhys followed him out.

"What happened?" Rhys questioned, falling in step beside him.

"I told him she's dead," Cassian answered, and Rhys went still. Cassian stopped walking and turned to face him. "I'm sorry, Rhys, I know you don't want to hear that. I know he doesn't want to hear it either. But she's dead. She's dead and Az is killing himself and I can't just sit back and watch it. Last time...when she left, he fell apart and you just pretended like nothing happened and I held it together for all of us. I can't fucking do that again. I can't. Because this time she's not just away. She's gone. She's gone and I don't know if there's even a chance of her coming back this time."