A Court of Death || ACOTAR

6

Astryn left Velaris. She hid her scent, hid anything that could be used to track her, and she left.

She knew the feeling would fade away and be replaced with nothing but sadness, yet at the moment, she hated Azriel. She hated him right now, and she knew he could feel that through the bond. She did not try to shield him from it.

Right now, she hated Azriel and Cassian and Rhys and Mor and Amren. She hated all of them, and she let Azriel feel that through bond so he knew none of them would be greeted with anything but contempt if they came looking for her. She wouldn't yield to even Amren right now. She made sure Azriel knew that before she let herself breathe enough that the hate dwindled and turned to hurt and misery. She didn't let him feel that. She slammed some invisible door in her mind. She didn't mind letting him feel the hate, but she refused to let him feel how horribly she hurt.

Why let him feel that when he already believed she was weak and fragile?

She winnowed and walked her way through Prythian until she made it clear to the other side of the land, to a court Rhys had only ever vaguely warned her to stay away from. He hadn't told her exactly what he hated so much about Spring.

She made it to the Spring Court, though, and she found a place to rest. She felt safest resting here, because Rhys hated this place. He wouldn't come here for her.

She slept for the first time in days, and she made sure she went to visit Death.

•••

Astryn opened her eyes to the throne room, as always. Death wasn't there.

She found him in the library again, in that chair by the fire with a book that had his attention until he noticed her entry.

"You seem weary," Death noted, eyebrows creased in worry, "are you well?"

"Is it possible to break a mate bond without either person descending into madness?" she asked, her voice scarily empty. "I was told mates are equals in every way. I've learned my mate does not see me as an equal, so I want to free him from our bond so he can find someone he believes is his equal."

Death only gaped at her for a moment, disbelief radiating from him. He spoke, after a few seconds, his voice edged with wrath.

"Did he harm you?" Death asked, his voice that terrifying calm that was always followed by violence—by entry to this realm. "Did your mate raise a hand to you?"

"No," she assured him quickly, "he only lied to me and thought me to be weak. Azriel...if he truly thinks I'm so weak and fragile, I doubt he wants me as his mate. This is a kindness to him."

"You're not at home," Death realized, a new worry filling him. "Astryn, where did you go to sleep?"

"By a tree in Spring," she muttered, face going red in embarrassment.

"You need to go back to your body. You need to wake up. Now. You can't stay here and leave your body vulnerable. If—gods, if harm comes your body, there will be no one there to stop it. You could die, for real this time. You need to go back," he told her, voice filled with so much panic. "You must wake up. You can visit me again when you have found some place safe to sleep. Go. No."

"I don't want to go back," she argued, that little pout making an appearance and Death wanted to curse the entire world for how badly he wanted to yield to that and just give her whatever she desires. But he couldn't. Not this.

"Spring is not safe," he told her sternly, "it is deadly. Especially to females. You need to return to your body before you lose it and are stuck here forever."

"I have nothing," she said, "I have nothing to go back to. I have no family anymore. And I may as well have no mate."

"You have yourself. Make that enough."

And then he pushed her soul out of his realm.

•••

Astryn slammed back into her body with a gasp. The world seemed unsteady around her as she slowly got her mind to clear of the fog.

She slammed the bond shut again, realizing it had opened when her soul left her body. Azriel likely knew she had gone to visit Death. She didn't care.

She left the Spring Court, and went to the only other Couple she had found safety in. Helion had given her refuge before when Azriel and Cassian rescued her from Autumn. Maybe he would help her again.

She found him in the Day Court easily.

"I just need a safe place to sleep," she told him desperately, "please."

"I can offer you that," Helion assured her, "but I can't lie to Rhys if he comes asking after you."

"He won't," she dismissed the idea, "he knows he no longer has a sister."

"Why, exactly, did you leave the Night Court?" Helion asked, trying not to assume the worst. Rhys and his Inner Circle were among the few Helion trusted enough to consider friends. But Astryn had run from them. With nothing but the clothes on her back, she had run from them. And now she was rejecting any ties to them.

"They lied," she muttered, knowing how utterly dramatic it sounded that she left because of that.

Maybe it was dramatic, maybe she was entirely ridiculous for this. But it has hurt her. It had cut so deeply that she didn't know how she would ever look at them again.

They thought she was fragile, that she was weak. And they lied. Then Azriel threw the truth at her like it was a weapon he had been waiting to wield.

"You have shelter here for as long as you need," Helion told her, not questioning any further. "What's mine is yours for however long you require it."