afterglow {Anakin x Reader}

12. whats a 'Soka?

*trigger warning, sensitive topics.  (borderline suicidal thoughts)*

(y/n)'s pov

Anakin was finally able to get me to calm down, taking me back to my room his room as he sat across from me on the bed. I pulled my knee's to my chest, resting my cheek on them as I stared out the window.

"(y/n), I need you to talk to me, to tell me what happened." He spoke softly, breaking my focus on the moonlit tree's outside. I looked over to him, he was sitting on the sofa, his elbows on his knee's as he leaned forward. His eyes were locked on mine, pleading with me to open up and talk to him.

"I was back at that place," My voice broke a bit, causing me to clear my throat before I continued. "It was a different part of the building. It was some sort of control room, and I could see more outside. I went outside, and the air was hot and gross, and smelt like sulphur." I cringed, hating the smell. "I saw some man, he was laying near the lava and he was wounded badly. I wanted to go and help him, to get him to safety. But when I turned around that thing was there again." I felt a tear slip out of my eye slowly.

"He said I betrayed him, and then he was trying to kill me. He was trying to throw me over the ledge. And then I opened my eyes and you were holding, trying to stop me from falling." I sniffled, wiping away my tears.

Anakin sighed, moving from where he sat on the sofa so that he could sit in front of me.

"I don't know why this keeps happening to me." I cried softly into my hands.

"You don't have any idea?" He questioned, causing me to shake my head.

"Part of me thinks that Dooku or something is doing this. When I was taken by Grievous and they were torturing me, Dooku would make me see things that weren't really there. He would show me my death over and over again, and the death of anyone else I cared about. He would show me the destruction of Naboo. He was horrible, Anakin." I sobbed out, my eyes meeting his.

"Dooku is dead, (y/n). He couldn't be doing this."

"Don't you think I know that? I was there when you killed him!" I snapped, my eyes meeting his.

His soft features hardened slightly, his eyes looking away from mine. I felt bad for snapping at him, he was just trying to help me.

"I'm sorry." I sighed, "I'm just.. I'm so scared that whatever he did to me messed me up more than I thought." I cried again, hating the way I felt right now.

Anakin sighed, "He didn't mess you up, (y/n). Someone is doing this to you, we just have to figure out who it is and why." He looked into my eyes again.

"But what if we don't find them?" I whispered, my heart felt like it was breaking as the agonizing thought of dealing with this torment for the rest of my life crossed my mind.

"I will find them, (y/n)." He said confidently, "They won't get away with this."

I didn't know what to say. I nodded, resting my head back down on my knee's as I felt him shift on the bed. He was sitting closer to me now, I could feel his body heat radiating off of him. I lifted my eyes to look at him, meeting his blue eyes.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

Just when I thought I couldn't cry anymore, his words made me cry again. My lips trembled as I nodded, accepting his apology for something that wasn't even his fault. I held him place his hand over mine, making me cry a little more at the physical contact. He sighed, pulling me closer to him so that I could cry into his chest.

And for some reason, it oddly comforted me. I knew he didn't want to do this. But the fact that he was being nice enough to comfort me at a time like this was nice. I haven't had anyone comfort me in a long time, I am usually left to deal with my emotions on my own. I have to figure things out myself. I've never had someone offer to help me so much before, never from my own parents and not from my sister. The nannie's would help sometimes as a child, but the older I got the more along I was. So this was nice. Being able to have a shoulder to cry on. Even if it would be gone as soon as I was feeling better.