Chapter 1

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"Panda will play wit' me today, right?" I grinned, lifting my panda plushie high into the air. His cute face seemed to smile at me as usual. "You're so silky, Panda!"

Panda has been with me the longest. I made sure to keep him extra safe from lots of Mama's rages. Papa holds her back, but sometimes he lets loose, too. I understand why. I'm not exactly normal. At least my big sister, Charlie, comes home to play with me a few times a week. Although she hasn't come lately.

"Emil, darling, what are you up to?" asked Mama, coming over to kiss my head.

I grinned up at her. "Panda is gonna play wit' me today, Mama. He's so soft. Feel him?"

Mama reached out and gently stroked my best friend. "Oh, he is very soft. Charlie got him for you, right?"

"Yes, Mama." I smiled happily, kissing her cheek when she crouched down. "I love you."

Her breath hitched and she cupped my cheeks. "You're such a good boy, my little Emil. Someday, someone is going to love you as much as your mama, papa, and sister do."

"Maybe even more?" I asked with a broad grin.

She ruffled my hair, making me pout. Her smile broadened. "Definitely more, my little boy."

I beamed. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." replied Mama, then slowly rose to her feet. "Now, what do you want for lunch?"

"T-tomato soup, please." I whispered shyly, kind of hoping she would offer that melted cheese sandwich again.

"Aw, your new favorite, huh? All right. Would you like a grilled cheese sandwich to go with it?"

I nodded quickly. "Yes, please!"

"What a good boy. Stay here and play with Panda while I make lunch. Papa will come by in a few minutes to check in on you."

"Mmkay, Mama." I beamed, hugging Panda to my chest.

She glanced back with a soft expression in her eyes and left the room. The door was always left open in case something happened. Oh, and Papa loves me like crazy, I think, because sometimes he won't even let me sit on my own chair.

I played with Panda's ears, stroking his soft ears and face. I shifted on my knees, spreading my legs wider as I sat back to get comfortable. I cuddled Panda to my chest and giggled, twisting my body back and forth.

"Emil?"

My eyes looked up to meet Papa's happy gaze. "Papa, you're here!" I exclaimed, reaching out to him with one arm.

"Of course I am, my little boy. I adore seeing your cute face." he cooed, cupping my cheeks as he took a seat on my bed. "I see you have Panda today."

"Yup, 'cause he promised he would play wit' me." I grinned, rubbing noses with my papa. "I love you, Papa."

His breath hitched like Mama's did earlier, then he hugged me and kissed my head. "My little boy, you are so precious."

Why do they never say it back?

"Papa, do you love me?"

He paused and my smile dropped. Papa was quick to reassure me that I was loved a lot while he kissed my forehead. I was fine with that. They did love me. I knew it.

"May I play with you and Panda?" asked Papa, so my cheeriness returned.

Papa and I played with Panda until Mama called for me. I placed Panda on my pillow and Papa picked me up, carrying me downstairs and into the kitchen where Mama was just cutting my grilled cheese into quarters.

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