Memoirs of the Lost Loser

Betrayal's Peak

"I told Phoebe you used to peek behind the curtains before," Lucinda had this knowing smile on her face, and it intrigued you. Old Lucinda crept closer to Levi, nudged him even. Did you happen to miss an important holiday? Did crows finally turn white and the snow black? Is Levi Ackerman this lenient with civilian women that he lets them nudge him in the rib, or tease him like this?

Did elephants turn pink, or are old lady Luce and Levi close?

"You're interested in Phoebe, aren't you captain?"

No, haha. Elephants don't change colors overnight, and certainly not hot neon pink, because there is no way Levi will be interested—

"And what if I am?"

***

No way.

"No." You said, nervously giggling at his gray answer. "No, no, you're not. You can't be." Maybe this was one of his shitty jokes. It's that one talent he has— tell a joke with a constipated face. He says them so dryly you can't tell the difference so you... just... lau...gh...

"Oh, you're serious?" You stared at him, your smile slowly fading, your stomach taken over by dread with every second that he didn't say anything to confirm nor deny his response. Why is no one laughing with you?

"You're— you, you like me?" Your finger indecisively pointed back and forth from him to you, before his stoic silence made you gulp.

You took a bite of your bread, shying away to process where this conversation had gone from. No, no, no — you can't let them know you're mentally running laps from Earth then back to Paradis. And hell's ass bent down to fucking earth— he can't be serious!

Optimistic Phoebe: But Levi Ackerman is always serious!

Rational Phoebe: Of course he is! He seemed like a not funny guy but we all know that Captain Levi is serious AND awkward! He could have meant something else entirely because he's nervous! Let's think about this rationally guys—

Sexually repressed Phoebe: How do you rationalize a hard dick that twitches everytime he sees you? He could probably smell your raw pussy dripping of stress and caffeine from a mile away, and he wants to help— it's that simple! You can't rationalize something this simple! If it's there, it's there! He already said he likes you. Just bring out your inner hoe, get to know him and the fella downstairs—

Demure Phoebe: Where is your decency?!

Trivia Phoebe: Guys did you know that caffeine makes orgasms really good?

Sexually repressed Phoebe: Consider your decency washed away with how slippery you'll get. Soon, you'll just be all about spreading thy legs and being taken from your shit hole. Wet season came late if I'd be fucking honest! And drink that fucking coffee before visiting pound town!

Demure Phoebe: Oh my goodness, language!

Pessimistic Phoebe: He only wants you for your body, although you don't even have much so at least that's flattering. But make sure to count the days before he's tired of you. And I know you'll require commitment, but neither of you can give that.

Optimistic Phoebe: Don't listen to her. You should think on the brighter side! Maybe you're really destined to be together! How many instances does someone go after a person from another world? This could be the first! He seems sincere in liking you so you could either live here with him or you take him out of this shit hole. You survived a lot, girl, you could do it again. That's one solution—