Stranger things

i wish that i was good enough (max)

Song: stay by sugarland.
TW: Abuse

No one likes getting their heartbroken. No one likes crying until you cant breath or staring off into space because you feel so numb and hate the world. No one likes it but unfortunately it happens. Life isnt fair and I get that but sometimes I just want to win at life and everytime I think I will something bad happens and I'm stuck. Stuck in a place I dont want to be in , a mindset I dont want to be in. When I met him i thought i found the one i thought i found the man i was going to spend the rest of my life with but no he wasnt it. When I met him my entire life changed for the better , I was happy and full of love now , now I'm unhappy because of that fool. I wish he never did that, I wish he never hurt me the way he did because now I hate love with a passion and men too.

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I waited for him like I always did sitting on the curb the sun was beating and warming my chill body. The wind blew causing my hair to fly around like crazy but I didnt mind it. I waited patiently like I always did listening to music just trying to pass time. I waited and waited until I noticed that it was now 20 minutes past the time he was supposed to be here. That's weird he's always on time.. I got up after nearly 30 minutes and began my walk home. I walked and walked until my legs burned but I finally got home. His car wasnt in the driveway which gave me a little unsettling feeling but I carried on.  Inside I kicked my shoes off and sat on the couch turning on the tv. I watched tv for at least 3 hours just waiting from him. No call no nothing. I sighed getting up going to make dinner at least for myself since it was late already. This isnt like him but there isn't anything I can do about it. I moved around the kitchen preparing dinner and enjoying the music on the radio until I heard the door slam shut.

"Babe?" I called out for my boyfriend hoping it was him since I forgot to lock the door. I called out again , no response. I walked into the living room seeing him sitting on the couch.

"Babe? Donnie? I called out to you" I said moving closer to him. Something didn't feel right so when I stepped one step closer it hit me. He cheated. Dont get me wrong I'm not assuming I know for certain he did. The lipstick on his neck and collar , the ungodly cheap perfume and the fact he wasnt responding told me enough.

"Donnie?" I called out again waving my hand in front of his face. He immediately slapped it away causing a small gasp to leave my mouth. Hes never done that,  never put his hands on me like that even if it's a small smack. I still ignored me which made my heart break even more. His silence was speaking clealry to me and that my suspicions are correct.

"You cheated on me... didnt you?" I just wanted him to say something even if it was going to hurt when he responded. The moment that sentence came out of my mouth he looked at me for the first time. He didnt look like donnie. I mean it was him but it wasnt.

"Yes I did" he said coldly. His voice sent shivers down my spine I backed away slowly. In my 19 years of life ive never been afriad of a man let alone my own boyfriend. I couldn't believe it I mean it hurts so much more when he admitted to it.

"Why?" Was all I asked. I know I would never know why I mean he could explain it all day and I would just think why. He wouldn't respond.

"Donnie.. why would you do that to me.. I've given you everything.." he still wouldn't look at me or respond and I just felt like I hit a wall of emotions. I started crying and apparently to loud. I felt a stinging sensation on my cheek I hadn't even processed that fact that he hit him until he was towering over me. I looked at him with such fear.