Craving him || Chanlix

14.

"Sshh" "It's okay" Jisung drew circles on Felix's back to calm him down, although it didn't work that well. The tears kept streaming and Felix didn't even know why he was crying. He didn't  know why he blamed Chan when he was the one that caused all this. He gave permission to Chan. And the worst thing is that he secretly enjoyed it way too much.

"Do you really not wanna talk about it?" Jisung captured Felix's pouty cheeks in his hands. "Not right now, maybe later" Felix hugged Jisung again and closed his eyes. His sniffing became softer as time went by. After a while Jisung noticed Felix had fallen asleep in his arms. He gently moved him to his mattress and tucked him in. Afterwards he shifted to his own mattress and sat crossed-legged, staring at his sleeping best friend. He doubted if he should let Chan sleep next to Felix tonight because he didn't know what happened between them.

While he was deep in thought he heard voices and giggling outside the tent, which meant dinner was over. It was already dark so it would be time to go to sleep. Soon, the zipper of their tent went open and Chan crawled in. Jisung gave him an angry look. "Jisung why the fuck did you hit me on the head earlier?!" Chan asked annoyed and a little bit too loud for Jisung's liking. "Keep your voice down will ya! Felix is finally sleeping" Jisung sent him daggers with his eyes.

"What the fuck did I even do?!" Chan raised his voice as he had no idea why Jisung was so mad at him. "That's what I would like to know" Chan stared dumbfounded at an arm-crossed Jisung. "Why does it look like he has been crying?" he pointed at Felix. "Because he did you piece of shit, and you were the cause of it" Jisung's voice was threatening as he pricked in Chan's chest while saying "you". "I didn't do shit!" "What even is going on?!"

Felix slowly opened his eyes but closed them again when he saw Chan and Jisung fighting. He didn't want them to know he woke up, so he just listened with his eyes closed.

"That's what I wanna know!" "What happened when you two left huh?" "Because Felix didn't look quite happy when he came back, but you were too busy stuffing your face full of food to notice!" Jisung was almost screaming at this point. "I wanna talk to him" Chan now crossed his arms too. "No" They stared each other deadly in the eyes. "Yes"

"No." Jisung gritted through his teeth. "I'm done here" Chan got up and shoved a pack of cigarettes in his pocket, before leaving the tent. Jisung's angry expression immediately dropped when Chan was out of sight and turned around to Felix, who now had fully opened his eyes. "Don't tell me you were awake all this time" he sighed.

"I just woke up when you guys started screaming" Felix fidgeted with his fingers. "Will he be okay?" He looked up at Jisung. "Probably, don't worry about him for now, just go back to sleep" Jisung pulled up the blanket and patted Felix's head. "Okay"

Jisung sighed loudly when he heard Felix's soft snores again. He punched the air and pulled his hair in frustration. This was supposed to be a nice trip to get away from all the worries and drama, but it seems like they brought the drama with them. Jisung changed into his pajamas and threw Chan's stuff out of the way so he could sleep next to Felix. He gave him a last pat on his head before turning around to think about Minho. Why couldn't he be here?

⚘

The next morning Felix and Jisung woke up without Chan in their tent. "Ji, do you think he slept outside?" Felix began to get worried. "Pfft I hope he did" Felix didn't know why but it hurt that Chan didn't come back. He didn't want anything to happen to him. "I'm gonna look for him" Felix got up and before Jisung could stop him, he slipped out of the tent. It was his fault Chan didn't want to sleep in the tent. It was all his fault, why was he so selfish and stupid?

He wandered around the tents to see if anyone was awake yet. To his luck no one was, so he could easily get away. He didn't know where to go, so he just walked the opposite direction they came from, leading him deep into the forest. He shivered at the wind that blew past his exposed skin. After some walking, the tents were out of sight. The trees made a scary sound as the wind took their leaves. Felix kinda regretted going into the woods on his own, but bringing Jisung with him would only turn into a fight if they found Chan. 

If  they found him.

Felix looked around but didn't see any sign of a human life. "Chan?" Felix called out, not too loud, but not too quiet. No response. "Hello-" Felix turned around as quickly as he could when he heard something crack behind him. He narrowed his eyes, but there was nothing to see, except for leaves, branches and dirt. Was it just his imagination? Felix started walking again, this time taking bigger steps. Maybe he should just go back. What if Chan didn't go into the woods? What if he stayed at someone else's tent? What if he just went back home? Felix stopped.

He should go back.

He turned around again and started walking the direction he came from. Or the direction he thought he came from. He started walking faster by every step, almost running now, until something caught his eye. A cigarette. Not one, but four. Felix walked closer and looked around the spot he was standing in. This would mean Chan was here, right? A shiver ran down his spine. He should have brought a jacket with him.

"Feeelix?!"

Felix looked up when he heard a faint voice in the distance. Did he hear it right?

"Feeelix?!" It sounded again. Far away, but it was there. "I'M HERE!" Felix screamed out of the top of his lungs. He started running towards the voice not caring about his clothes that were getting dirty. He wanted to get out of here. After more calls, a person came into sight. Felix slowed down his running and narrowed his eyes to see who it was.

Black hair, black clothes. Chan.

Felix didn't know he could be this happy to see the boy again after crying over him not even ten hours ago. "Chan!" "Felix?!" Felix ran towards him with all his speed and threw himself in Chan's arms. Tears started to brew in his eyes as he hugged the life out of Chan. "I thought you were gone," he sniffed.

"What? Why would I be gone?" Chan laughed softly at Felix's clinginess. "You were so mad last night, I- I thought you-" "Shh" "It's okay, I'm here, don't worry" Chan kissed Felix's head trying to calm him down.

"Now, should we go back, then we can talk okay?" Then it hit Felix. He needed to talk to Chan, something he wanted to avoid at all cost. Especially after what happened last evening. He didn't want to share his feelings with him. He didn't want him to know how he thought of him. Felix let go of Chan and wiped his tears away. He couldn't bring out a word so he just started walking. Chan noticed the change in his behavior, but didn't want to ask any questions.

The walk back was silent, until they got to the camp where a worried Jisung was walking in circles. "OMG FELIX!" "THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T GO OUT ALONE!" "DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHEN I GOT LOST LAST TIME?!" "I THOUGHT WE LEARNED FROM THAT?!" Jisung hugged Felix, after first scaring the life out of him with his screaming. "I was so worried, why did you do that?" he mumbled on Felix's shoulder.

"I don't know" Felix mumbled back. Chan cleared his throat behind the two. "Felix, can I talk to you please?" Felix looked at him. He really didn't want to talk to him, but he couldn't avoid him forever. He could always lie right? Although that would make it worse, he wasn't ready to tell the truth. He nodded slowly, letting go of Jisung. "Are you sure Lix?" Jisung held his arm. "Yeah, I'll be okay" Felix gave a small smile at his best friend before walking to Chan.

Chan took him behind the building in front of the tents. "First of all, why were you crying?" he looked at Felix with a confused yet concerned look. "I don't know" Felix looked him straight in the eye. "Tell me the truth Felix" Chan's tone was stern. "I just did"

Chan inhaled a sharp breath and looked away for a split second before looking back and placing his hands on Felix's shoulders. "You're confusing me Felix-"

"Me?!" Felix interrupted him. "You're the one that's confusing me!" "Why did you kiss me that night at the party?" Felix crossed his arms. "I don't know," Chan said, barely audible.

"You're just as bad as I am, I'm done here" Felix stomped away angrily. It was time he needed to get over this stupid man. All he did was cause confusion, pain and hope for nothing. And more importantly he was already taken, something Felix ignored way too many times.

Maybe he should just confess to Hyunjin. He deserved to know the truth. All of this needed to end. But knowing himself he would be too scared to do so. Why was he such a coward?

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Oop, drama

Kinda hate this chapter tbh, i just wrote it weirdly or something idk hahah