Craving him || Chanlix

21.

Chan and Felix walked to school together but when they arrived, Felix knew it wasn't a very good idea. A shocked Jisung watched them walk through the gate together. "Felix Lee" Jisung stomped towards him. "Oh no" Felix hid behind Chan, who just stood there awkwardly.

"I can still see you" Jisung pulled on Felix's arm and dragged him away from Chan who shrugged and walked towards the school entrance. "Are y'all dating now or what?!" Jisung whisper-shouted. "NO" Felix's cheeks went red as he defended himself. "Why are you two walking together then? Did you forget he made you cry like a million times and made you feel like shit?! Why are you still swooning over that man Lix? He's bad news" Felix sighed after Jisung's angry but well-meaning talk.

"Ji I need to talk to you, but not here" Felix was now the one dragging Jisung with him. They went into the library and sat in a corner. Felix was willing to skip his class for this because honestly this was more important.

"Okay so, I'm gonna tell you everything, like what happened at the camp and such because you're my bestie and you deserve to know" "But please don't judge me, I know how fucked up all this is and the last thing I want, is you getting angry at me for having done this" Felix looked at him with a hopeful look. "No worries Lixie, I'll always be here for you" Jisung placed his hands on Felix's and waited for him to start.

After telling his best friend everything, and I mean everything, Felix felt relieved. He never knew how much he needed it to just talk. Jisung's expression didn't change much during his story, because he was too focused. When Felix was done, Jisung didn't know what to say for a moment, but soon he gathered his thoughts together to come up with his best advice.

"Okay Felix, uhm, wow, I really think you need to talk to Hyunjin. I know this is the last thing you'd want to do, and I understand, but you can't keep on feeling awful and guilty when you kiss the boy you love" "Also you need to talk to Chan about how you feel and let him tell you how he feels, because if he likes you, he needs to end things with Hyunjin, because otherwise everyone will end up hurt." Jisung's advice made sense to Felix and he could've thought of it himself, but it was easier said than done. Felix wasn't quite the talker but it was the only solution right now. Sooner or later Hyunjin would find out so it would be better to tell him instead.

⚘

When Felix took off his jacket at home that day, he felt something in his pocket. Confused, he pulled it out to see a familiar white piece of paper. His lips formed a small smile when he read the words again. "You're driving me crazy"

"You're driving me crazy too Chan" Felix mumbled before he pinned it on his wall between some pictures of him with Jisung and animals. From now on whenever he saw the paper, Felix immediately felt happier.

⚘

Felix had decided it would be best to talk to Hyunjin at his own house, since his parents were still away on a business trip. So, he dialed Hyunjin's number. But when he was about to press the call button, another screen popped up and stopped him. Felix was shocked when Hyunjin's name was on his screen. He answered the phone and was greeted by a sad sounding Hyunjin. "Omg, I was literally just about to call you!" Felix replied, before he realized Hyunjin didn't sound as cheerful as usual.

"Felix, I really need to talk to you, can you come over?" Felix grew a little bit anxious that maybe Hyunjin already knew by now. "I wanted to talk to you too actually" Felix's voice was more quiet now. "I'll be there soon" With that Felix hung up and grabbed his jacket before looking at the small white paper for a second.

Felix went on his bike because it would be faster, and so he arrived within five minutes. Now that he was so close to telling Hyunjin the actual truth, he got really scared. What if Hyunjin hated him for the rest of his life? Would Felix be able to live with that? He quickly shook the thoughts out of his head and walked towards the front door. It was his own fault for liking a taken man, so he should face the consequences. He inhaled one more time before ringing the bell.

"Hey" Hyunjin greeted him with a small smile. Felix didn't know how to say hi back in this kind of situation so he just smiled. After Hyunjin got them drinks, they sat down on the big couch where Felix had some vague memories of, and waited for someone to start talking.

Felix decided to break the ice and get his story out, because the longer he would wait, the more he would chicken out. "So, first of all, I'm very sorry Hyunjin, I didn't mean to do it, but it still happened and the bad thing is, I don't really feel any regret, but then sometimes I do" Felix started to tear up a bit. It was harder than he thought. "I just, I didn't know what happened to me, I couldn't help myself-" Hyunjin was confused at where Felix was going with his story and interrupted him. "Felix, what are you saying?"

Felix looked up from his lap and started fidgeting with his fingers. "I'm sorry for being in love with your boyfriend Hyunjin" Felix could feel the tears flow down his cheeks, and he felt embarrassed for crying while Hyunjin was the one that got cheated on. "I-I k-kissed him, a-and we went a little f-further one time, but" Felix choked on his words. He couldn't keep the sobs in anymore. He glanced at Hyunjin for a reaction but he wasn't quite sure how Hyunjin felt.

Hyunjin just stared at him with a numb expression. "I thought I could trust you Felix" "I really did" Felix only cried harder when he knew he messed up for good. "You were the one he was distracted by, weren't you?" Hyunjin's tone was mixed with anger and betrayal. "How long has this been going on?" Felix could barely get a word out because he was sobbing at this point. "A-a-at the party, w-we k-kissed-" "I'm s-so s-sorry" Felix sniffed while wiping his tears away with his sleeves.

Hyunjin let out a huge sigh before sitting up straighter. "Actually, I have no right to be mad at you" Felix's sobs got a little bit more quiet as he looked at Hyunjin in confusion. "This is what I wanted to talk about," Hyunjin let out another sigh. "At that party I slept with Changbin" A small tear escaped his eye, which he wiped away before it could reach the end of his face.

______________________

What a plot twist