Craving him || Chanlix

22.

"We were drunk and I couldn't find Chan anywhere, he bumped into me and there was just something about him-" Hyunjin stopped in his sentence to hold in some tears. "The thing is, I've been seeing him in secret after the party" Felix hadn't made a sound since Hyunjin told him about Changbin. He was shocked that Chan wasn't the only one that cheated. But that didn't make the situation any better.

"I know there is some kind of spark between me and him, but I just couldn't give up on what Chan and I had." "I truly loved him, and I still do, but I'm not sure if it's in that way anymore" "We have been growing apart over the last two months and I kept telling myself, we would always stay together no matter what, but maybe that isn't true" Hyunjin didn't bother to wipe the tears away anymore. He looked at Felix who was still silently crying.

"I just don't know what to do Felix" Hyunjin bit his lip to prevent a sob from coming out. Felix didn't know what to say so he hugged him. Hyunjin now let out everything that had been boiling up over the last few months. 

"I k-know I have n-no right t-to be mad at you when I-I-I'm just as bad, but I d-do feel kinda betrayed about the f-fact this has been going o-on all this time" Hyunjin sobbed while he layed on Felix's shoulder with his head. "I completely understand, I'm just glad you won't cut me out of your life" Felix softly replied.

Felix was relieved the conversation went better than he imagined. Of course, it was bad what Hyunjin had done, but Felix was also to blame. He stayed the night at Hyunjin's house and they decided it was for the better if Hyunjin broke up with Chan and told him the truth as soon as possible. Hyunjin hoped they could still be friends, because he had known Chan for a very long time and he really loved him, even though it wasn't romantic anymore. His heart had chosen someone else.

⚘

When it was time for school again, Felix felt anxious. Hyunjin had texted him yesterday that he and Chan broke up, and Hyunjin wasn't quite sure how Chan felt about that. Felix's first class was with Chan, so he was scared of how Chan would behave.

"I'm proud of you for telling the truth Lix, I know it must have been hard to do so" Jisung placed his bag on the ground and sat down next to his best friend. "Yeah, but I'm scared Chan won't take this lightly" Felix's eyes switched around the room, waiting for the boy to arrive. "If he feels awful about it that's weird, cause he was also cheating" "Remember this has nothing to do with you Lix, this is between them" "And also, Chan doesn't have any right to be mean to you because he was the one who kissed you first" Felix just gave a weak smile, because he knew that if Chan was mad at him, he wouldn't be able to speak up for himself.

The teacher walked in and the first lesson of the week started, but without Chan because he still wasn't present. Felix tried to relax, but it was hard because he now knew that Chan didn't take it lightly.

After about half an hour, the door was slammed open and Chan walked in with a hoodie over his head. Felix sank a little in his spot when he remembered Chan was sitting behind him. He tried not to look at the boy who angrily walked his way, but it was hard. Chan hadn't closed the door behind him and everyone was quiet, looking at him. 

The teacher had stopped mid sentence but spoke up when he processed what just happened. "Chan! This is not how you come in! First you're being late and when you do decide to show up you just leave the door open and storm in like it's your home!" The teacher seemed more angry than Chan at this point. When Chan walked past Felix, Felix could smell the cigarette smoke that left his clothes. He scrunched his nose a little in disgust when the smell wasn't going away.

"Chan, go and close the door" The teacher's tone was now more slow but threatening. "Go do it yourself" Felix almost jumped at the voice behind him. Chan's voice sounded deep from tiredness but still angry. "Close the door and take your hood off, or you leave this class!" Nobody dared to say a word as everyone just kept staring from the teacher to Chan, except for Felix because he was too scared to turn around.

When Chan didn't respond but grabbed a cigarette and lit it instead the teacher almost exploded from anger. "TO THE DIRECTOR" he yelled from across the classroom. Chan walked out on a very slow tempo, not sparing anyone a look. Felix didn't realize he had been holding his breath all this time. He looked at his side to Jisung who kinda shrugged with a "I don't know" look on his face. The lesson continued, but it wasn't as relaxing as before, because the teacher was pissed off now and took his anger out on the other students. Felix nibbled on his fingernails and hoped he wouldn't be picked out to answer a question.

Chan was only in 2 classes with Felix on monday, but the last class was the worst, because Jisung wasn't there. Felix prayed Chan wouldn't go and sit next to him like last time, if he even came to the class. Felix hadn't seen him for the rest of the day, so he wondered what the director had said.

Felix said goodbye to Jisung when the bell rang and walked towards his last lesson. He sat in the back next to the window, which wasn't occupied by Chan. Felix didn't know whether to feel happy or sad. Soon the lesson started, but there was still no sign of Chan. Felix sighed and stared out of the window until he noticed someone leaning against the wall, with a cigarette in his mouth, just past the school gate. Felix shifted closer to the window and stared at Chan with big eyes.

Felix forgot about the lesson he was in when his mind wandered to some thoughts. How could someone be so hot when all they did was stand? Felix swooned away with his hand under his chin, until his name was being called several times. "Felix?!" 

Felix snapped out of his thoughts and looked around the classroom to see everyone staring at him. His cheeks flushed red in embarrassment and he shrunk in his seat a little. "What's so interesting outside, that you can't focus on the lesson?" The teacher asked him. Felix began to turn ever more red if that was possible. "Nothing sir" The teacher slightly nodded and continued where he left off. When Felix glanced out of the window again in the corner of his eye, Chan was gone.

⚘

"Lixieeeeee" It sounded from across the hallway. Felix abruptly turned around to see Jisung hopping towards him. "Don't do that Ji, people are staring" Felix continued his walk towards his locker with Jisung by his side. "Pfft, how else would you know I'm coming to you?" Jisung swung his arm around Felix's shoulders. "Anyways, should we do our homework at Minho's place?" Felix shot him a glare. "We won't get far then" Jisung gasped while he placed a hand on his chest. "I'm not that horny" Felix chuckled. "Suree"

And so they were at Minho's house. Felix on the couch with Jisung on Minho's lap next to him, solving math problems. Everything was going fine because Minho understood more of it then them, until someone rang the bell. "Baby, get up for a second" Jisung pouted when he had to sit on the cold couch. Felix didn't pay much attention and continued to take over the tips Minho had written down when a certain voice made him stop midway a sentence.

"You don't understand Minho, I'm going fucking crazy" "Chan calm down, Felix and Sung are here" Minho's voice was way more quiet than Chan's, but Felix could still hear it, unlike Jisung who was rolling on the couch waiting for his boyfriend to come back because he refused to solve a formula without him. Chan's voice turned into a whisper-shout. "That fucker is here?!" Felix dropped his pencil when he heard the angriness in his voice, even though it was barely audible. Was this about him?