The girl behind her smile

- 16 -

ELIZA

The sun had started to show signs of setting, and we still hadn't visited the hill we normally did every year. I grew tired of waiting for someone to show up, and I couldn't help but feel abandoned. I knew this day was hard for everyone, but wouldn't it be better if we were together? At least for dads sake?

I decide I've waited long enough, I stand up and cover the cake before I reach out for my coat.

The walk there was longer than I had remembered, every street was bustling with people and their new year celebrations. I could't help but feel envious. Every person had someone they were with, families, couples, friends, and I had no one.

Every corner I turned showed a sick reminder of how alone I was.

The trek around the hill was not as calming as I had thought it wild be, when I retraced the steps we had walked every year, a strange hatred for the nostalgia it had brought me settled in me. Each moment my mind was littered with recollections of the past, which was only disrupted when families and other people had walked past me.

Ironically, the pond was the only silent place I had encountered, there was not a soul in sight. And I was thankful for that.

I pick up a stone and throw it across the lake, and watch as the ripples fade away. I do this a few more times before deciding to retire by the bench.

The sound of crunching leaves emerges from behind me a few moments later, I let them draw closer before I turn my head. I say nothing when he comes to sit by me.

"What are you doing here?" Jasper's deep voice rumbles.

I take a few moments, deciding if I should actually reply to him. I mean he did help me on the rink after all. Besides, I think I didn't even have the heart to ignore him, I knew right now how horrible it felt to be on the receiving end.

"It's my dads birthday, we used to come here for walks and stuff every year," I pause, "So I just decided to come and see it again, you know?"

"Where's everyone else?"

I shrug my shoulders, because I know I wouldn't be able to keep my composure if I admitted out loud that they had left me.

Instead I ask, "Why are you here?"

He stands up to pick up a few pebbles, skimming them across the lake as he replies, "I needed to be somewhere quiet. The streets are full of people and their new year celebrations."

"Why didn't you just stay home?"

"The one person I can't stand is there, I'm sure I would end up strangling dad if I stayed there longer." He mutters.

I don't think I could ever complain about any of my family like that. It was ironic how we had both ended up in the same place, wanting to escape two different things in our own homes. I nod slowly, rubbing my hands together. They had started to turn yellow because of the winter cold.

"Here," He digs in the pockets of his jacket and produces a set of gloves, "Wear these, it'll help."

I glance down at the white gloves, smiling to myself. Jasper's personality is confusing, one moment he hates me, the next he's threatening me and now he's... caring for me? His behaviour is driving my brain to go round in circles, but there's something nibbling away in the corner of my mind, which him, is the true him?

"They have cats on them." I can't help but snort, turning my head sideways.

If it was possible with the cold, the redness on his cheeks grew, he clears his throat before replying, "You don't have to wear them if you're going to take the piss."