The girl behind her smile

- 24 -

I use my hands to brush my legs as I walk towards Jasper, the back of his brown hair was visible. He was seated on a bench near dad's grave, just a few rows away. I place myself next to him, looking into his eyes as I speak, "Thank you, I actually haven't visited since his burial - I needed this."

"I had to, it was only right after what I put you through." He replies.

"But you didn't throw my necklace away. You had it the entire time." I look at my intertwined fingers, "Why did you let me believe it was gone?"

"Because I was angry."

I look up.

"My whole life, someone's wanted something from me, money, power, help... They never wanted me for me. It's why I don't have friends here, why I can't trust anyone, because when you remove my power and wealth, I'm just another person, and everyone will leave me. You're one of the first people to want me for nothing, you had no expectations from me, in fact, you didn't even want to be friends with me or anything," He swallows, taking a moment before continuing, "And when you asked me to let Ezra off the hook, it felt like I was back to square one, it felt like you too were using me, so I just- I felt so, so angry. I did the first thing that came to my head, I let myself hurt you with my words and actions."

I was taken aback by his confession. I hadn't expected his reasoning to sprout from his own insecurities. 

"Jasper, I didn't ask you because I wanted to take advantage of you," I reach one of my hands out to meet his, letting it hover for a moment before I place it down, "I don't need your money, or power or anything. I'm just really worried about Ezra. I haven't actually told this to anyone but, when dad died, Ezra didn't speak to anyone, not me, not Elijah, not mum. And I saw how he became worse every day, he came home drunk, high and whatever else you can think off. And I know it was his pain that was dictating his mind, I know he did this to forget, but- but I couldn't help but wish he would stop, and that he would be normal again."

I sigh, taking a breather before continuing, "Dad was Ezra's favourite person in the world, he got into MMA because of dad to be honest, he admired him," I glance back to the gravestone, "A lot."

"And when we found out that dad gotten into an accident, he wasn't there, not at the site, or the hospital," I could feel the tears stinging my eyes, and I retract my hand, moving it to wipe away the few tears that had started to fall, "He didn't get to say his final goodbye." 

That was the worst part of it all, the crash was so sudden, so unexpected, it was like a bandaid had been ripped off your chest and had taken all the flesh from your skin with it. Leaving you there with a gaping hole, and regret.

"We both went into this downward spiral to be honest, we never saw each other, we never talked, I didn't leave my room, and he never came home. But one night, I-I found him-," I swallow my tears, looking back down, "I found him, unconscious on our bathroom. When I tell you my heart stopped, I mean it felt like someone had put a clamp around it and squeezed it so hard, I couldn't breathe anymore."

I look up to Jasper, watching as his eyes were trained on my own, and I whisper, "I thought he was dead."

"There were so many marks on his body, his face was all bruised and he was holding a syringe. It was believable, you know, he could have passed off as someone who was dead, if I hadn't noticed the pulse in his neck."

"The reason I'm saying all of this, the reason I'm explaining it to you, is because I only want him to be safe, I want him to not destroy himself, and have a happy future, I can see how much grief and misery he hides, call it twin telepathy, or whatever you want, but I never want him to go through the tourture he did back then." I shake my head slowly, "I'd rather take his place."