The girl behind her smile

- 25 -

ELIZA

Returning to school seemed more daunting than I assumed it would be. After being absent for two weeks, I had foreseen some gossiping, but having Jasper interact with me at every chance he got, certainly raised a few eyebrows. Riya and Zayn were definitely two of them. It wouldn't be a lot, maybe the odd smile here and there, but it was certainly more attention than when he had 'despised' me. 

"Have you got him on a leash or something?" Zayn asks, playing with the pencil in his hands as he looks at me with a strained smile on his face.

For the past few weeks, I had not been in contact with Zayn. I had ignored all texts, in fact, from anyone at school - other than Riya. I think being alone in solitude was a sort of mental reset that I needed, to be able to recharge my social battery, and return to how I was before.

"I can't, he's being so irritating," I groan, bringing my arms down in front of me as I lean my head on to the desk.

He raises an eyebrow, "I must say, for someone who hated him for the past two terms, you sure don't seem to mind his company."

I bring my head up resting it on the palms of my hand, "I guess you can say we're now... civil? There's no more hatred or anything of that sort between us."

"What kind of Christmas miracle did you two encounter, I feel like I'm in some hallmark movie."

"I don't think you can call this a miracle," I purse my lips, "Just an understanding of sorts."

He hums in response, and we lapse into a moment of silence as we continue listening to our chemistry teacher. Although his questions seemed as though they were out of genuine curiosity, there was something distasteful underlying his tone, something I was willing to ignore, because he's my friend.

"Hey," His whisper, guide my attention back to him, "Why weren't you in for the past few weeks?"

I look down for a moment, before returning to face him, "I had this really shit fever, and a stomach bug to top it all off."

The lie falls off my tongue, I didn't want anyone else finding out what I had gone through in the past few weeks, how low I really got, and how fragile my mind was. It was easier this way.

He scrunches his face in distaste, "Ooof, that sounds rough."

"Trust, it was."

Once class finishes and we return to our study hall for our free period, Zayn decides to stay with me. In all honesty I was worried about how my relationship with Zayn would be affected if I had befriended Jasper. Their discontent towards each other was of the same level, but the key difference was that Jasper was the type of person to not care. As long as there is an established relationship, the opinions of others do not matter, his own judgement is stronger. 

However with Zayn, he was already very open with his displeasure towards Ezra. I didn't fail to forget the way he had reacted at the ice rink, when he had seen us alone. He was worried about me, but I am more than aware that a tiny portion of him still didn't want me to associate with Jasper because of their relationship - or lack thereof.

I guess you could say he was territorial, in a sense.

As off putting as that is, I understand that their strained relationship comes with a loaded history, there is no doubt that both believe they are in the right. If I consider myself unlucky I could say that their hatred could bring misfortune for me - someone who stands in their crossfire.

However, at the end of the day, I am my own person, I am more than capable of deciding who I want to associate with, and even though Zayn may show his dissatisfaction due to his own worries, it is my call to make. I just worry it will come at the price of our friendship.