The girl behind her smile

- 9 -

ELIZA

Nothing mattered to me anymore, my focus was all on Ezra now, watching every step, every breath he took. I find it hard to look away, and all I can feel and see is red. 

The rage. 

The blood. 

Every blow the opponent takes is returned too Ezra with twice the intensity. He stumbles back, and instantly I understand that this fight will be over very soon. I understand that his world is no longer as clear as it was a few moments ago, that his vision is clouding and begging him to end the torture. One last strike to the his right cheek. A few moments pass and Ezra's unsteady stance has fallen, the ground embraces him with a cold smile, stained by his blood.

I am not shocked. I knew this would happen. But why am I forgetting to breath? Why are there tears racing down my face? Why is my mouth open? I think I am screaming, I am not sure, I can't hear anything. Not the announcement of the winner, not the cheers of the monsters who won their bet, not Zayn shouting my name, trying to grab my attention. 

Zayn yanks me way from the crowd, and yet I still face the centre of the arena, where my brother was being taken away from. From the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of the man who brought me here. I can feel his eyes drilling into my face. But I don't give him the satisfaction seeing the sadness in my eyes. 

The doors close behind me, and Zayn is still dragging me up the three flights of stairs. Even if I am not able to physically see the ring, the image of Ezra half dead on the floor has etched, no burned itself into my mind. And the only question running through my mind is why?

Why

Why

Why

Why.

He promised me. We promised together that we wouldn't do this. Whatever this was. I'm so frustrated, and angry, and upset, and tired, so very tired. When will my family ever catch a break,  it's one thing goes right, then ten things break on us. 

But among all the confusion and betrayal, I still trust him. Ezra's not stupid, in fact he's far from it. He's very brilliant, nothing is a miscalculation, unless his feelings are involved. So I am sure that there is a very explainable reason to all of this self destruction. And if there is one thing I know is that he will tell me when he wants me to know.

But I am still very angry at him.

"Hey, are you feeling better?"

My concentration snaps up to the one familiar face I can stand seeing out of the three that was here today. 

"Yeah... Yeah I'm better." I glance around, the car park is slightly more crowded than when we came in earlier, and the rays of the sun are starting to retreat once more. I look down, I hadn't realised that whilst my mind was running, we had managed to reach outside, I was crouched in a squat near the wall next to the entrance.

"You scared me back there." Zayn is now crouched next to me, "You just stopped responding at all, I-I wasn't sure what was wrong."

I stay silent, unsure what to say.

"You were struggling to breathe, so I had to get you out of here, which is why I dragged you out here, I know you needed space and air."

"Thank you," I turn to look at him with a small smile, "I mean it."

A few moments of silence past between us, our breath becoming long and slow as we listen to the distant wails of a siren far out in the city.

"Are you alright?" He asks, "You can... You can talk to me you know? I'll be here to listen."